Hi,

My name’s Brittney,

(“Hi, Brittney!”)

And I am a social media addict.  (Shame on you for thinking it was anything else…)

I was reading this article this morning: http://www.retrevo.com/content/blog/facebooktwitternewcigarette that basically acknowledges my generation being a bunch of TwitteringFacebooking freaks– and I’d have to agree, especially seeing that over 1/3 of people surveyed tweet, text, or check their Facebook after sex.

The thing is, though, I am one of these freaks! (Note: I am not acknowledging that I am one of these 36% because that would be acknowledging that I have, in fact, kissed a boy which means that no, I am not in fact entering a convent after college.  That is just a road this blog does not need to travel down today, or ever.)  Friends and I have actually had the discussion “What would we do without the Internet?  How did college students do research papers before Google?” 

I realize this makes us sound like complete dolts, and in many respects we are.  If the World Wide Web were to suddenly disappear, therapists would see a lot more clients because 1.) the withdrawal would be a bitch; and 2.) we would feel completely disconnected.  God forbid we pick up the phone or have lunch with an old friend– log on to Facebook chat, talk about yourself for five or ten minutes, and it’s like no time passed at all!

The big number seemed to be “these kids are checking their Facebooks more than TEN TIMES a day!!”  Yep.  I believe it.  Mostly because the ol’ Fbook is my homepage when I pull up the Internet (it would be either that or Perezhilton.com people, I never claimed to be refined.)  Apparently the iPhone is quite a large enabler when it comes to this– thankfully I don’t have one because 1.) I would break it/ lose it/ drop it in a pitcher of beer/ use it as a bartering chip in a drinking game and lose/ leave it on the bus/ etc. ; 2.) I hate, hate, hate that touch screen; 3.) I would be on the Internet EVEN MORE than I currently am, which is a shameful, embarrassing amount of time.

I am not proud of my time on the Internet– I’m sure I’d be much more worldly if I logged off and picked up a book.  I’d be at least ten pounds thinner if I put down the tweets and laced up my running shoes.  But it’s what I’m supposed to do, how I talk to my friends, it’s even helped for journalism assignments when I have to find interviews/sources/creep on people I don’t know just for the sake of my grade.

And hooooo doggy, do I creep.  I can find anyone, and we’re talking anyone, who has a Facebook.  It’s not that hard– a couple of search terms, their general area of residence (it’s an immense help if you know what school they go to…)  It once took me about half a day to find someone from Australia given only a first name and their continent of residence, but by golly I did it.  (Having said that outloud, wow, Brittney– WOW… pathetic.)

I have been Facebook-less and phone-less (never at the same time, what are you, CRAZY?!?!) and not gonna lie, it felt awesome.  When you’re off of Facebook for say, 48 hours, and you log back on, you realize…. nothing has changed.  Barring no natural disasters or sudden deaths you haven’t been informed of, Suzie Q from down the hall is still complaining about how she just can’t study for her bio test, and that guy you hooked up with and awkwardly friended the next day still has not sent you a message about how he just can’t stop thinking about you because let’s face it, he hasn’t once thought about you.

My big question for this sickos social media-ing after sex survey (a hint of alliteration– did you get it?  I thought it was nice…) is what are they saying?  I’ve never seen a Twitter update “Just did the horizontal no-pants dance with @brittneyw, hope she leaves my bed soon!”  I’ve seen a few racier Facebook statuses, but those generally come with the territory when you’re friends with a large portion of the hormone-driven campus of really any college.  I guess the survey didn’t say that they’re updating the world on their behind-closed-door goings-on, they’re simply checking to see what POSSIBLY could have happened in the (let’s face it) 15 minutes that they were disconnected.  Oh, and texting at least one of their friends– those gems are the reason Texts from Last Night is so popular (looooove it!!)

In conclusion, I have been up way too early for being “on vacation.”  A few good things have come of this, however:

1. Shout out to Hampton Inn for a pretty decent continental breakfast.

2. I have discovered  yet another networking site (mwah-ha-ha) but this one has, so far, proven to  be more helpful than most I’m shamelessly registered for.  Live Mocha http://www.livemocha.com is a site that helps you learn a language by using others who speak that language.  For example, I am registered as a person who’s native language is English and is beginning to learn German (Ich bin eine Frau.)  People who actually speak German can review my pronunciations, give me feedback & in return I can do the same (I just reviewed someone’s written exercise– he only messed up by saying “I am is tall and young” and I was all “Yo, homeskillet– you can take out the is.”)