I realize the title of this post may have you thinking I’m writing it to Jesus, and while I do wish all of you reading a very Merry Christmas, it is in fact dedicated to someone else who’s birthday happens to fall on December 25th.

So do ya’ll remember D-Bag? From my Germany blog, my best friend while studying abroad who is fact not at all “d-baggish”, but rather his initials are D.B. so somehow that became his nickname that didn’t really catch on at all? Yes, of course you do. Well today is his birthday, and I wish him a very happy one. It’s probably automatically better than last years, because as I recall, he was wandering Oslo, Norway completely alone since he didn’t really get the memo that absolutely everything would be closed on Christmas day. And maybe he didn’t want me to tell you that, my bad.
Anyway, I hope today is the most wonderful of days for my dear friend, translator, drinking buddy, occasional secret keeper, Mensa companion, Tablekicken partner and/or ass-kicker, tour guide, and a bunch of other stuff that I don’t really want to recall right now because before you know it, I’d kick off Christmas covered in salty tears in the fetal position. I didn’t go to Germany expecting to make such good pals with my overly sarcastic American neighbor, yet here I am full-on rambling about him, and whenever he sends me a Facebook message it seriously makes me day. (And no, after re-reading this, we are not in love or anything and never did the horizontal no-pants dance after a night of Sambuca shots on karaoke night. Turns out I just have a platonic man-crush on him because he can bike like 200 miles uphill with only a sip of water and a saltine cracker.)
THE POINT IS– happy birthday, Darin. I’m so looking forward to our brief reunion in March being characteristically awkward, and I hope you’re having the time of your life doing whatever it is you do, which whenever we talk seems to be drinking a beer and watching a movie auf Deutsch.

(Imagine me ending with a photo of him or us or a sunset or something, but there’s only one photo of us together in recorded history and God knows I can’t find it right now and it was in a bar anyway, thus just use your imaginations and Etch-a-Sketch whatever you think he may look like. Oh, and Merry Christmas again. Or happy super belated Hanukkah.)

Merry Christmas Eve!
As per usual, we’re at my grandmother’s house in Fort Dodge eating far too much, putting together a puzzle, and waiting until church and dinner are over tonight to get to the main show: presents. (Yeah, yeah, it’s all about giving. But you have to admit presents time is still the best time.) Hopefully Fergus is still alive at NPH’s house. My grandfather asked me yesterday, “Who do you miss more, Fergus or–” and before he could finish, I shouted, “FERGUS!!” Sorry, Neil. My favorite part of our journey North thus far was when my grandmother went out of sight by the basement stairs and shouted, “It’s just a box, not me, folks– don’t worry,” which made no sense until we heard something tumbling down the basement stairs (the box, not her.) You probably had to be here, but I thought it was amusing. When I brought NPH up here earlier this week to meet them and inquired to Grandpa as to where they got a particular set of ornaments I was admiring, he told me he was lucky to know his own name and address most days, so how the hell should he know.
Since I haven’t taken any photos yet of this joyous holiday weekend, I will leave you with this, Fergus in his Christmas sweater (from a couple weeks ago, sadly, because we are not together today):

What a diva

We went to The Fighter as a family today and it was simply fabulous. And I’m not just saying that because Mark Wahlberg has managed to catapult his way into my Top Five Celebrity Hotties, or because the kettle corn was fresh at Jordan Creek. To continue my Oscar predictions long before any nominations are made, Christian Bale will absolutely, positively win most every acting award ever for his supporting performance as Micky Ward’s brother Dicky. When the credits roll and we saw the actual Micky and Dicky, everyone in the theater was like HOLY SCHMOLIGANS because Christian Bale seriously became Dicky. The acting was just impeccable all around– the characters you’re supposed to hate, you’ll really hate– and the story wasn’t dragged out longer than needed. The feel good ending (sorry, did I just ruin it?) doesn’t hurt, and the Bostonian, Masshole accents are the icing on my New England-loving cake.

In other news, some really scientific research has led me to believe that my sanity can spend about 72 hours at home before I start itching for an escape. I mean, I love my family, but they can be at times… challenging. I realize this is not at all a problem exclusive to me, especially around the holidays, and that as I get older things will only become more testy. Perhaps making this all worse is that I accidentally grabbed NPH’s phone charger from his house so now have both of ours… and he has none. His phone is dead for at least another couple days, and I have no texting outlet who is equally as bored at home on his couch. I’ve been passing my time baking a ridiculous amount of Christmas goodies and perfecting my great-grandmothers apricot crescent cookies that will get to make an appearance again finally when we go to my grandma’s tomorrow. Unless I eat them all on the journey there in some sort of emotional breakdown over how much I miss my basset hound.

Ahhhhhh the holidays. This year, perhaps a bit different from the last, my feelings of excitedness (not a word) and trepidation for Germany have been replaced with depression (actual word) and trepidation for the impending five months of desperate job searching. As I sit alone in my room, a glass of German beer in hand, one resume and cover letter down (25 million to go) I am in a holiday funk, dear friends. I will not blame Lauren’s recent early graduation and move to DC (seriously, congratulations) for bringing my own life into pathetic perspective. Realizing that finals week is actually over and I have a month of zero commitments lying ahead had to happen at some point. The emo-ish, wallowing parts of me would like to point out that the A I got my my EU final will not matter in the real world, but since that’s all I’ve got going for me right now, I’m going to hold on to it. The grumpy, uninspired parts of me would like to point out that I’m a body-loathing blob of beer weight and cheese fries, but that won’t do anything for my already alarmingly low amount of holiday spirit. Thus, I’ll get up (or maybe, go to sleep and try this all tomorrow) look for jobs, talk to Neil, wrap some presents, and continue with the day-to-day because that’s my only option. This one whiny post aside, nobody wants to hear it because everyone else I know is also going through it.

…HARK! BUT WAIT! Thank goodness for Jezebel, for what did I just stumble upon in those self-doubting moments between “Preview” and “Publish”? This, an article on tonight’s lunar eclipse. And hallelujah, perhaps an explanation:
“You may be feeling more emotional than usual under an eclipse, especially if the eclipse is lunar (full moon).”
Well at least I know have an extraterrestrial body on which to blame everything. I’m sure it had nothing to do with this picture which made me want to cry and puke at the same time, or more like cry so hard I puked. I’ll spare you the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking emotions I feel over not being in Germany– I’m sure I have some spare paper I could fashion into a makeshift diary around here somewhere. Happy Holidays, everyone (and yes, Mom, I said “holidays.” Because not everyone saying “holidays” wants to take Christ outta Christmas, they just realize that New Years or Jewish people deserve to be acknowledged, also.)

For being officially on Christmas break, I sure have left myself a lot with much as-yet-unfinished business before leaving Iowa City tomorrow. While packing for home is the most daunting task on my to-do list, it’s surely the one that will be put off the longest. NPH, his roomies, and I are hoping to catch a showing of Black Swan in Cedar Rapids this afternoon (Fandango doesn’t show it playing in Iowa City?) I’d also like to see The Fighter sometime over break, but I feel that’s more of a kettle corn with the Pops event. Tomorrow I’m loading up the car with NPH and Fergus and heading to the booming metropolis of Fort Dodge, Iowa so that the grandparents and boyfriend can finally meet. Mostly I just want him to experience my grandmother’s house at Christmas because it’s off the CHAIN and not able to be adequately described with words. But seriously, trees in every room. And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Afterward, we’re headed to Adel so my mother can see Fergus again (ok, not the only reason, but definitely the one she’s most excited for. For not being exactly thrilled that we got him, T-Bone is in l-o-v-e with this dog.) Perhaps send some well wishes NPH’s way that he makes it out of this family-filled weekend alive and still sorta fond of me. Now if you’ll excuse me, Roomie Rachael made cookies last night, and I’m hoping to snag a few for breakfast. Break is quite necessary, if only for the free food.

OH AND PS– for some reason ICON is being terribly dumb and enlarged on my screen and not showing the toolbar to get to my grades. Any other Hawkeyes experiencing this? Because I’m gonna need to see how I did on my EU final like now.

Today I finally found myself in the holiday spirit, perhaps because of the news of our Hawkeye receiver Derrel Johnson-Koulianos’ recent drug charges. (Get it? It was a cocaine joke! Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more.) Today I finally hung up Christmas lights in our living room (and made an inappropriate lighted appendage with the remainder of the strand on the wall above our TV) and got rillll domestic in the kitchen with peanut butter balls, chocolate covered pretzels, and frosted sugar cookie cut-outs. Unfortunately, I discovered that I hadn’t stolen any of my mother’s Christmas-themed cookie cutters like I’ve done in years previous, so was left with the only other cookie cutter in our house: the aforementioned inappropriate body part. For the record, the cookie cutter belongs to Roomie Lauren, and I believe was purchased as a gag gift and/or jello shot shaping device long before I came into her life. So really, I’m the innocent one in all of today’s debauchery.

SPEAKING of debauchery, my social networking sites have been understandably blowing up with the news of DJK’s arrest. I’ve seen some quite annoying updates, some really funny jokes, and everything in between. Personally, I have no feelings beyond mild amusement. Our football team wasn’t exactly having the immaculate season we were promised, and as someone said, he’s only human. He was given superstar status and everything he could ever want here, so I shouldn’t think it’d be surprising for a guy his age to think he was invincible when it came to his off-the-field drug habits. He is certainly not the only person on campus doing these drugs or selling these drugs, but he’s the only one who will be getting this attention because damn, can he catch a football. Honestly, I feel bad for him. He made a lot of dumb mistakes, but now he has to deal with the consequences for the rest of his life. Sure he’s an idiot and should realize that his legions of fans would hold him to a higher standard than the other coked out losers roaming Iowa City, but I’m an idiot sometimes and you’re an idiot sometimes– at least we’ll probably never be a trending topic on Twitter when we get caught.

If you’re checking in for an update on my bruised behind: it might possibly be worse. It’s also shaped kinda like Massachusetts, which is fitting since most days I’m fairly certain my ass is the size of Massachusetts.

This afternoon I volunteered at the local Hope Lodge with some other girls from PRSSA. We put up their holiday decorations, which included many wreaths and figurines and strands of lights. We also assembled two trees which we then adorned with some uh, interesting artistic themes could most politely be described as eclectic. There were two guests who also participated, one who loved to decorate at home and was more than willing to put in her two cents whenever it seemed we were at a loss for how best to hang ribbon on a tree. I’m really glad we went– they had a good time, and the place looks great.

Afterward, Roomie Lauren and I got take-out sushi from Oyama, a place I forget about but is probably my favorite sushi place in Iowa City. Leprechaun roll? TO DIE. Fergus, who has been feeling under the weather lately (probably because he is a little cuss and gets into very non-edible things) joined us later to have way too much fun playing with Lauren while I made gingersnaps. Aren’t we just the cutest little family. Neil told me what he’s getting me for Christmas today (IT’S SO AMAZING) and I told him Friday (because I can’t, can’t, can’t wait for anything to save my life) and because we both got each other not so much items as experiences. What he got me (where he’s taking me?) is way better than me to him, but that’s because Slash is involved. SEE, there I go again. Jumpin’ the gun on everything.

It’s no secret how excited I am for Christmas, so I figured I’d get some of it off my brain and onto the ol’ bloggity blog JUST in case any readers were looking for ideas. Giant cough toward the boyfriend/ anyone of blood relation. So, drumroll please– I present to you now:

Brittney’s Ideal Christmas Wish List 2010

1. Gallons– nay, vats– of V8 Soups. I don’t have a favorite flavor (ok, I could live without the Southwestern Corn), just buy out your grocer’s entire stock of V8 Soups. If you haven’t had these, I urge you to mow over small children and animals to get to your hands on a magical green carton– I promise you’ll be hooked.

2. Remote start for my car. Because it’s getting cold out and I’m a wimp.

3. A plane ticket to Germany (Munich, please!) With D-Bag. For Oktoberfest of next year. Really not that much to ask, right?

4. A semi-truck load of Morningstar Farms Chipotle Black Bean Burgers. You can buy them in 18 packs at Costco, they are my FAVORITE. Seriously, I get really excited for lunch now. Being a vegetarian tastes so much better than my previously meaty life.

5. Hawkeye gear for Fergus. No, I will not take gifts for him as a replacement for ones for myself, but he’s got a self-proclaimed godmother who’s going to spoil him (and perhaps dress him up for a Christmas card-style photo shoot). Natalie, he needs Hawkeye gear for the games– the black will go well with his red coloring.

6. A job starting in about June in Boston/DC/a major metropolitan area on the east coast in either event planning/ public relations/ writing/ being fabulous.

7. Java House gift cards even though I realize those damn chai tea lattes are just all sugar. Ooh, while we’re at it, throw in some gift cards to Which Wich, Target, Bruegger’s, HyVee, Kum n Go, and some extra ones to Target. Pretty sure I could just live there.

8. Do they sell boxed seasons of Say Yes to the Dress? Because um, YES PLEASE.

(Alternate title for this post: Coming Out the Other End. But then I realized that could be taken far differently than intended.)

I MADE IT. Through my midterm and my giant, hours-long class project with nary a physical injury and only minimal emotional scarring. Not only did I survive the midterm, I rocked it. Scores won’t be posted until next week, but there was only one short answer question I was slightly unsure of. Needless to say, MUCH better than last time. Our class event not only is over with, it was a big success with over 200 people showing up over four hours. Amazingly I don’t have class on Wednesdays, so sleeping in til 11:00 was in order.

I realize there’s still a few days left in October, but really– who cares about Halloween? Not I. Mark it on your calendars– 12:08 pm on October 27, I revved up my Christmas station on Pandora. I’m SO EXCITED for Thanksgiving/Christmas. This is the time of year when I wish I could end school a month early and just hang out at my Grandma’s house decorating and making Christmas food. My friends have already informed me they’re giving Fergus far more Christmas presents than I can expect from them, figures. Ohhhhmygoodness we’ll have to get him his own stocking. 713 doesn’t have a fireplace, but we can improvise. Speaking of the ever-growing pup, here’s a photo or two to tide over those who have asked for more:

Basset ears

NPH likes to make sure he's extra cozy

I don’t really have anything I want for Christmas besides a job after graduation, though I’m a huge fan of gift cards (if you’d like a list of places I frequent in the greater Iowa City area, boy howdy do I have one ready.) I realize those aren’t the most exciting, but Lord knows I don’t need food, would rather pick out my own clothes at this stage of my life, and have no idea where I’ll be living in six months. Oooh cash is always good. Especially cash for our roommate trip to Vegas for Spring Break. I found $10 on the ground on Saturday. Best day ever.

Since I’m all about blogging my impulses and rarely following through (my assurance I’d be attending Bonnaroo, anyone?) I figure I might as well share this week’s potentially-thousands-of-dollars decision. It’s both exciting and exhausting to be a person who gets REALLY excited and really sure of planning things, only to realize they’re not feasible or get plain bored with them after two weeks. This week: Brittney’s going to Costa Rica. Well, she’d like to. She would also like to stop referring to herself in the third person since it’s one of her own personal pet peeves. After deplaning from Germany and simmering in Iowa for a few months, I’ve got an itch. The ol’ familiar tic to get up and get out– this time it would be for three weeks right after Christmas. You see, I work in the study abroad office and am an ambassador for the program I went to Germany through. The study abroad fair was today and lo and behold, my program started a winter site in Costa Rica where I would stay with a Spanish family and take amazingly cool elective classes, because that’s really all I have left, like Spanish dance and a COOKING COURSE. Please note that my use of both capital letters and boldface type means that you just can’t imagine how amazing that would be. Before applying only hours after learning about it (don’t think I didn’t start filling out some demographic information) I figured it’d be best if I slept on it and met with a study abroad adviser. I’m (foolishly?) not too worried about cost because scholarships are available, I usually get some nice cash for Christmas, AND I’d get a discount for already traveling with this program once. Who knows, we’ll see. In the meantime, I’m going to keep checking my cupboards like a crazy person just hoping that I’ll magically find a package of Pretzel M&Ms, my absolutely new favorite candy and yes, I’m even counting cherry Twizzlers in that ranking.