For those of you who haven’t the slightest clue what I’m doing (include me in that) you can click here to read the rest of the 10 Day Posting Topics Thingy I’ve been doing. Don’t worry, it’s almost over.
Day Eight: three turn ons
…hahahahahahahahahahahaha awkward. First of all, how is this much different than the list of ways to my heart? Second of all, if this list were that different, I’m not sure I’d be answering with three sincere answers since the majority of my readers are the parents of my parents. Well, here goes nothin’:
3. Be larger than me. Huge props to you if you can lift me. I suppose you could do this if you were some freakishly strong scrawny kid (I’m looking at you, D-Bag) but generally, if I can eat more than you, it’s not exactly a turn on.
2. Have a drug addiction. Ok, maybe not a debilitating habit to the point where you need to constantly wear sweaters to hide your track marks, but who ISN’T turned on by the whole bad boy thing? So you’ve done some time for possession with intent to sell– I can dig it.
1. Smell like laundry detergent. Wear aviator sunglasses. Make lots of money and buy me things. Sigh a girl can dream.

We are going to eat lunch in the dorm cafeteria today and it.will.be.awesome. 

On the National Geographic Channel today, a show about heroin is currently playing, next is Taboo: Drugs, followed by a program on LSD, then “Marijuana Nation,” and finally a show about Discovering Jesus later this evening.  I chuckled on this inside at this line-up.  (OHMYnastiness– they are currently talking about these drug mules in Nigeria who swallow 90 condoms full of heroin for a run.  It takes a lot to turn my stomach, but that is extremely unsettling.)

TONIGHT, ladies and gents, TAYLOR LAUTNER, the sweet sexy fine underaged kid from Twilight is hosting SNL.  Be still, my heart.  I don’t know that I’ve actually ever heard him speak, or that I want to, so perhaps I’ll just watch it on mute.  If the SNL writers know what’s up, they will find a way for him to be shirtless in every sketch.

I’ve realized I’m treating my departure to Germany as I will never be coming back.  The mental list of things I want to do in Iowa City before I leave is quite lengthy.  Last night I remembered that Mesa pizza exists so will definitely be hitting that up.  NPH and I have apple brats on the menu at some point, probably followed by kumbaya-ing while holding hands on the couch, sobbing to The Departed and drinking BBQ sauce straight out the bottle.  Not that that’s ever happened.  But really wouldn’t be that weird to anyone around us if it did.

Oooh, congrats former heroin addict girl.  She’s been clean for almost eight years.  Apparently now she’s taken to riding subways alone in Detroit, staring out the window and contemplating how much better her new sober life is while melancholic piano music plucks along in the background.  Or perhaps that’s just how NatGeo TV sets up these ridiculous re-enactments.

I have officially run out of clean pants.  Since I am currently umemployed and have no academic obligations save for a final at 7:30 am on Wednesday, this isn’t really a problem.  I would like to throw up some mad props to Lada Gaga for making optional pants-wearing so much more socially acceptable.

Driving alone in my car is my favorite thing to do of all time.  Yes, there is a lot of singing involved.  Also some talking to myself.  A lot of yelling obscenities at other drivers.

The universe knows that I’d take a loaf of bread or batch of muffins over chocolate any day, but how awesome are Twix bars? 

Did you know that the University of Michigan doesn’t have to make any budget cuts this year because of their methods of savings over the past six years?  Must be nice.

If marijuana is legalized (is this why you don’t want Grandma reading my blog, Mom?) at least when we one day get universal healthcare, the way the world should be, all the insurance workers can find employment in the multi-billion dollar pot industry.

You need to be reading this series in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/18/world/asia/18hostage.html. 

If Lil Wayne actually has to go to prison for a year in February, I am quite concerned for my mental health.  I love him.  He is hilarious.  If you have not yet watched VH1’s Behind the Music: Lil Wayne get on it.  His interview with Katie Couric before the Grammy’s?  Pure entertainment.  “I’m a gangsta, Ms. Katie.” 

And finally, a video that makes me laugh everytime (I also have a friend who does a spot-on impression of this)