Brittney Has Something To Say » Germany

Deutschland is Calling

Brittney — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 15:12:03 +0000

My deep-seeded longing to return to Germany has reached fever pitch. I can’t watch spring happen here without remembering how crazy amazing spring over there was, and I MISS IT, DAMMIT. Donations are now being accepted to the Brittney Takes Germany Part II fund. If you need me today, I’ll be researching ticket prices and brushing up on mein Deutsch which is sehr schlecht.

Serenity Now

Brittney — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 15:36:25 +0000

There is a medium amount of blood on the sidewalk outside our apartment. There’s not a trail of it off into the bushes, so I can’t muster up much concern, but there are also broken bottles strewn everywhere. If there’s one thing Mamie from “The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia” (it’s on Netflix Instant and an absolute must watch) taught me, it’s that you should always drink beer from a bottle because it can instantly become a weapon in case of crisis or drunken brawl. Due to my passive nature and general happy state when under the influence, I’ve yet to put that little nugget of wisdom into practice.

I need to stop eating Jimmy John’s due to my current broke as a joke status, but that bitch Natalie (she’s currently on a cruise to Honduras, so the offensive adjective is completely justified) introduced me to the #5 and my life hasn’t really been the same since.

Even though it seems winter is just going to last until September, we pretended it was spring yesterday afternoon and had a good ol’ fashioned grill out. Some may also call it a garden party, but half of the attendees used cinderblocks as seats, so I’m not really sure it qualifies. We had mignon burgers because they’re on sale at Hy-Vee {insert here something about how I feel like a very boring housewife for even typing that} and now I’m not sure I’ll ever want regular ol’ ground beef ones again. Holy yum. T-Bone, put those on the menu for my graduation barbecue.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day finding ways to get back to Germany in the coming months. My wanderlust has been kicked into hyper-drive hearing all the super cool places my co-workers are going to this summer (Costa Rica! Greece!) And, after spending 50,000 hours road-tripping over spring break, a seven hour flight now seems like cake.

Glorious

Brittney — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 23:12:04 +0000

The thermometer outside one of the banks downtown read 64 today, yee-haw. It feels more like April than February, and I’m experiencing some major Germany flashbacks. I took full advantage of the above average temps and went for my first outside run of the year this morning. I did about 2.5 miles which actually really helped some of the lingering soreness from boot camp, though my lungs and legs seemed to be in a contest of which wanted to make me feel more out of shape during the whole thing. Fergus and I also went on a walk after class, though when his very low to the ground tummy meets this melty/muddy/puddle stuff, let’s just say either I’ll be investing in a lot more dog shampoo– not exactly likely since baths are not his favorite– or we might just have a dingy pup for the entire season.

The concert on Monday was, in a word, amazing. In two words, holy crap. We went to dinner at Bier Stube where they had an impressive imported beer selection and a semi-authentic menu that did not disappoint. (I mean, it was no Germany, but for Moline, Illinois it was pretty legit.) We got to the venue right as the doors were opening, and we wasted no time finding our seats which were really good. It’s not that big of a place (they play arena football there which as Neil informed me is the size of only half a football field) so it seems there aren’t many seats that could be deemed nosebleed. Both of us were quite surprised by the amount of preteen and grade school-aged children in attendance. Granted, many were with their parents, but they all had their own Ozzy shirts and appeared to be just as big of fans as the leather-clad, ruffian (thanks for the spelling lesson, Kayla) middle-aged chaperons. (I JUST LEARNED THAT ‘CHAPERON’ DOES NOT HAVE AN ‘E’ AT THE END. Holy schmoligans.)

Slash came out at 7:20, even though our tickets said the show didn’t start until 7:30, and played through lots of Guns ‘n Roses songs as well as some from his recent solo album, all with Myles Kennedy singing vocals. While he was no Axl, he’s not at all a bad singer and it was a really good performance. Of course I am in no way biased. Seeing Slash play Sweet Child o’ Mine and Paradise City in person (shirtless!!) made every single one of my adolescent dreams come true. It was so. awesome. Ozzy’s set started with a super funny parody video in which he was CGI-ed into pop culture stuff. For example, he was an Avatar, then he was Mike “The Situation” in a clip from Jersey Shore, then he appropriately became Iron Man from a clip from the second movie, and he was Beyonce in Gaga’s “Telephone” video which was absolutely my favorite. He finally came out, long black trench coat and hair a-waving, launching into most of his greatest hits, and generally still owning and rocking out on the stage despite being in his sixties. The entire concert was amazing, I had a huge smile on my face the entire time, the crowd loved, two thumbs up to all involved.

And with that, I’m off to make sure my car is super, sparkling clean since it’s my job to pick up our keynote speaker for PR Day (which is tomorrow!!!) from the airport.

Ausgezeichnet

Brittney — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 21:28:27 +0000

Thank you to my professor this morning who either mysteriously read my blog or just my mind, because he informed us during class that college is a cake walk and our lives will only be busier the older we get. Ausgezeichnet!

Speaking of German stuff, Deutsche Bahn cancelled my Bahn Card. Cue the Hallelujah chorus! I’d emailed them a very painful, “Hi, sorry my German’s pretty bad, could you cancel my card since I’m not in the country anymore,” email on the day after it was scheduled to be renewed (oops) and today got a reply. Apparently you’re supposed to notify them six weeks prior to the renewal date, but were considering this an “exceptional circumstance” and cancelling it as an “act of goodwill.” For as much as those people love rules and reprimanding those who don’t know or follow them, this is all nothing short of a miracle. I hope they had a lovely guffaw over my email and lack of general knowledge about the runnings of their system, but I now retract everything I previously said in hatred about the Deutsche Bahn.

I made NPH and I spaghetti for dinner last night while watch the State of the Union (Obama rocked it) and Teen Mom 2 (boring episode) because I’m the epitome of domesticity. It was awesome, one of those foods I forget exists and never eat often anyway, but once I did I was all, “This is ausgezeichnet!” (Which Google Translate is showing me means ‘awarded’ but so obviously means ‘excellent’.)

Getting things done

Brittney — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 22:27:43 +0000

You’ll be pleased to know I actually was able to move about today and wasn’t nearly as sore as I thought I’d be… until like an idiot I decided to do Lauren’s new Biggest Loser cardio DVD plus the same Jillian yoga set. Um, no. I’m sorry quadriceps, I’ll never put you through such hell again. Imagine a million lunges plus fire plus death plus more lunges, that’s how my legs feel when I go from sitting to standing. If there is one motivator to get me to the kitchen, however, it would be the “low fat, low cal!” brownies aforementioned roomie just made that smell di-viiiiine. I haven’t given class starting on Tuesday much thought; my general attitude toward this last semester is YEEEESSS!!! Go for it. Carpe diem. Let’s get it over with. You get the gist. Oh, in other big girl news, I applied for an internship in Boston today that I would be over the moon, peeing my pants with excitement, sobbing in thanks if I got called for an interview. It’s with an amazing company with some pretty cool people, so I’ll keep you posted. While I’m on the talking-up-myself train, not only was there a buy one get one free Blizzard coupon from Dairy Queen waiting in my Gmail inbox when I got off work, but so was a congratulations from the career center that I’ve been nominated for a leadership award! How about them apples? I won’t find out if I got it for a while and have to submit some answers and letters of recommendation, but you know what they say– it’s nice to be nominated. (But seriously, Lauren, you’ve let those brownies cool long enough. Fork, napkin, my face– now!)

OH! Because I’m an idiot, I never cancelled my Deutsche Bahn card (train pass thing that never actually gave me a discount because as far as I’m concerned, the German rail system was invented by Lucifer himself) before leaving Germany, and on the 19th they’re set to charge me 57 Euro to automatically renew it. Awe. Some. If I had my PIN I could log in to my account and cancel it, but of course I never received a PIN because they apparently can’t figure out how mail works (or maybe me. But no, this part is definitely their fault.) So now I’m one passcode away from logging into my account and getting the whole fee taken care, but alas, they’re “sending” me a new PIN to my “German” address (which no longer exists and would never get there in time.) Thus, I’ve resolved to writing an email. That will probably start with something like, “Es tut mir leid, aber mein Deutsch ist schlecht” and then just laying the whole thing out in English. I see about 20% chance of this plan working, but that’s really all I’ve got right now. Unless I email my old program director who I guarantee will say, “We told you like 80 times before you left the country to cancel that damn thing,” and I will say, “I KNOW, but I’ve been waiting for my PIN!!!” But to a German, that is no excuse. Le sigh.

Happy Birthday

Brittney — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 05:01:38 +0000

I realize the title of this post may have you thinking I’m writing it to Jesus, and while I do wish all of you reading a very Merry Christmas, it is in fact dedicated to someone else who’s birthday happens to fall on December 25th.

So do ya’ll remember D-Bag? From my Germany blog, my best friend while studying abroad who is fact not at all “d-baggish”, but rather his initials are D.B. so somehow that became his nickname that didn’t really catch on at all? Yes, of course you do. Well today is his birthday, and I wish him a very happy one. It’s probably automatically better than last years, because as I recall, he was wandering Oslo, Norway completely alone since he didn’t really get the memo that absolutely everything would be closed on Christmas day. And maybe he didn’t want me to tell you that, my bad.
Anyway, I hope today is the most wonderful of days for my dear friend, translator, drinking buddy, occasional secret keeper, Mensa companion, Tablekicken partner and/or ass-kicker, tour guide, and a bunch of other stuff that I don’t really want to recall right now because before you know it, I’d kick off Christmas covered in salty tears in the fetal position. I didn’t go to Germany expecting to make such good pals with my overly sarcastic American neighbor, yet here I am full-on rambling about him, and whenever he sends me a Facebook message it seriously makes me day. (And no, after re-reading this, we are not in love or anything and never did the horizontal no-pants dance after a night of Sambuca shots on karaoke night. Turns out I just have a platonic man-crush on him because he can bike like 200 miles uphill with only a sip of water and a saltine cracker.)
THE POINT IS– happy birthday, Darin. I’m so looking forward to our brief reunion in March being characteristically awkward, and I hope you’re having the time of your life doing whatever it is you do, which whenever we talk seems to be drinking a beer and watching a movie auf Deutsch.

(Imagine me ending with a photo of him or us or a sunset or something, but there’s only one photo of us together in recorded history and God knows I can’t find it right now and it was in a bar anyway, thus just use your imaginations and Etch-a-Sketch whatever you think he may look like. Oh, and Merry Christmas again. Or happy super belated Hanukkah.)

And thus I wallow

Brittney — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 00:05:23 +0000

Ahhhhhh the holidays. This year, perhaps a bit different from the last, my feelings of excitedness (not a word) and trepidation for Germany have been replaced with depression (actual word) and trepidation for the impending five months of desperate job searching. As I sit alone in my room, a glass of German beer in hand, one resume and cover letter down (25 million to go) I am in a holiday funk, dear friends. I will not blame Lauren’s recent early graduation and move to DC (seriously, congratulations) for bringing my own life into pathetic perspective. Realizing that finals week is actually over and I have a month of zero commitments lying ahead had to happen at some point. The emo-ish, wallowing parts of me would like to point out that the A I got my my EU final will not matter in the real world, but since that’s all I’ve got going for me right now, I’m going to hold on to it. The grumpy, uninspired parts of me would like to point out that I’m a body-loathing blob of beer weight and cheese fries, but that won’t do anything for my already alarmingly low amount of holiday spirit. Thus, I’ll get up (or maybe, go to sleep and try this all tomorrow) look for jobs, talk to Neil, wrap some presents, and continue with the day-to-day because that’s my only option. This one whiny post aside, nobody wants to hear it because everyone else I know is also going through it.

…HARK! BUT WAIT! Thank goodness for Jezebel, for what did I just stumble upon in those self-doubting moments between “Preview” and “Publish”? This, an article on tonight’s lunar eclipse. And hallelujah, perhaps an explanation:
“You may be feeling more emotional than usual under an eclipse, especially if the eclipse is lunar (full moon).”
Well at least I know have an extraterrestrial body on which to blame everything. I’m sure it had nothing to do with this picture which made me want to cry and puke at the same time, or more like cry so hard I puked. I’ll spare you the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking emotions I feel over not being in Germany– I’m sure I have some spare paper I could fashion into a makeshift diary around here somewhere. Happy Holidays, everyone (and yes, Mom, I said “holidays.” Because not everyone saying “holidays” wants to take Christ outta Christmas, they just realize that New Years or Jewish people deserve to be acknowledged, also.)

An Apology

Brittney — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 04:13:54 +0000

Sweet niblets, I just realized three of my recent posts have ended with an emoticon smiley.

There, I’ve got them all out of my system. Shudder. I am not an emoticon girl. Contrary to apparent recent evidence, I am not a fan of sideways symbols making faces. While we’re on the subject, I also cannot stand the acronym LOL. Greg Giraldo has a great bit about the overuse of LOL and other ridiculous text shorthand, but YouTube isn’t being kind and showing me the clip I want. Full disclosure: Neil uses LOL in his texts, and it very very VERY much irked me in the beginnings of our relationship. I admittedly use “haha” far more than any one person should in the course of their average texts per day, but “haha” is a much more socially acceptable phrase to show you’re either joking or think something is mildly amusing during the course of electronic conversation. When D-Bag and I used to have Skype chat conversations instead of just walking the 10 yards to the other’s apartment in Germany, he was pretty boss at using appropriate animation to make or support a point or story he was telling. That’s because one, Darin is the shit; and two, Skype has some pretty great animations. He was also a fan of the eye-rolling emoticon during Facebook chats (we had a weird and lovely co-dependency which apparently required us to be in communication at all times) which was just so great because that’s actually a face that he uses often in real life.

…it seems my apology for excessive smiley faces has just turned into a soliloquy on how much I miss my German bestie, as so many things lately often do.

A chuckle

Brittney — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 00:56:30 +0000

A big thank you goes up to Papa K for backing up all my files before I went to Germany. The other day Neil said something about murdering me to gain possession all of my things (he was kidding… I think) which reminded me I’d drawn up a will before going to Germany last year. Sure enough, I just found it buried in my very disorganized documents folder, so will now share it with you mostly in its entirety now (edited slightly for content and to protect those who probably don’t want their full names associated with me):

12/16/09—The Last Will and Testament of Brittney, one kick-ass cool kid
In the event of my untimely death, my belongings should be dispersed as follows:
1. My car goes to Melissa B. so she can drive her own ass to Ames
2. Admiral Jim Jack goes to Geoff W. And his electrical fans. And his silver trash can.
3. My PRSSA polo and Iowa Swimming & Diving t-shirt to Natalie
4. Neil gets my dead body so he can prop me up on the couch with a beer in my hand and talk to my cadaver—essentially nothing will have changed from our living friendship
5. My fake id goes to the highest bidder. It works everywhere but Brother’s and probably Fieldhouse
6. Everything else goes to Kayla.

Can we please not talk about how at the age of 20 I apparently still wanted to be remember as a “kick-ass cool kid”? I wonder where my parents ever got the idea that NPH and I only hang out to drink together. Clearly I was just far too immature, seven months out from the legal drinking age and all.

I have the tendency to find myself and my sarcasm far too amusing.

In DC

Brittney — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 17:21:24 +0000

After cutting it pretty close to make our flight from Moline to Detroit, I am now typing 30,000 miles above ground and hurtling towards our nation’s capital through quite a bit of turbulence (but let’s be honest, I’m posting while firmly on the ground probably somewhere in the Marriott lobby—I’m certainly not paying for in-flight wireless, though for the first time in my life it is available.) Going from Concourse C to A in Detroit, I was freaked out by how eerily familiar it seemed. Chalking it up to 14 years of flying finally blurring into one ball of indiscernible travel experience, I then remembered that I had stalked a senator through that very underground passage back in January. Le sigh. As if I weren’t already having trouble with the Germany flashbacks.
Outside our gate there was a small food court where—get this—there was a restaurant dedicated to PB&J. They carried other variations including my favorite, peanut butter and banana, or PB & Chocolate, or even PB, banana, honey & bacon on cinnamon swirl bread. I opted for a fruit cup from a bakery instead, because after reading Skinny Bitch (very eye-opening) and finally completely crossing the boundary from toying with vegetarianism to committing to vegetarianism, I was just really craving some fruit. Yes, I realize I just announced my not eating meat in what must seem like a very flippant “Oh, maybe I’ll wear a T-shirt today” kind of way, but I assure you I’d been consuming it sparingly anyway, and the stats, experiences, and descriptions in the aforementioned book made me realize I just need to go ahead and give it up.
I’m already completely exhausted (dammit, Fergus) and will want to just fall into bed as soon as we get to the hotel, but who knows what kind of second wind DC will bring me. Speaking of my little floppy-eared love, he had his first vet visit yesterday. Not only did he pass, but he’s gained a pound since we got him on Saturday, and he charmed everyone in the office who assured me he’s the cutest basset they may have ever seen. Wtf, flight attendants—they haven’t even begun the in-flight beverage service. This is only an hour long flight; if I don’t see some pretzels before reaching our destination, heads will roll.