The boyfriend and I returned this afternoon from a mini vacation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where we toured the MillerCoors brewery as his Christmas present from me. (Yes, I realize the tour is free, but the idea and other shenanigans we got into were courtesy of moi.) It was so much fun, more than I guess I was anticipating. Being both huge Miller Lite fans, the tour itself was the highlight of the trip, culminating in three free samples at the Miller Inn (which I thought would be like sample-size shot glasses but were pretty regular-sized beer glasses.) As per a tip we got from another couple we were on the tour with, we went to dinner at the Comet Cafe, a place that has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. It certainly did not disappoint– in fact, it was fantastic. They’re big on bacon there, yet also have a ton of great vegan options (I had an almond-crusted tofu vegetable salad with ginger dressing– zooooommmg amazing.) I got a Bloody Mary, one of their specialties, which came with a giant garnish, a piece of bacon in it, and a Miller High Life chaser. Yes, my drink had a piece of bacon in it, it was awesome, and they put a splash of Guinness in there as well.

Oh yeah. It was amazing.

Sorry for the shoddy camera work, but yum

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind
….I THOUGHT I HAD DONE THIS LIKE FOUR TIMES. Fine, let’s get this over with:
7. “If I wear this pajama/sweatpants combo to class, clearly my peers will think I’m either on my way to or have just come from multiple hours at the rec center.”
6. “Pancheros. Mesa. Which Wich? OASIS FALAFEL. The Vine. No, definitely The Vine.”
5. “Hehe, this post asks for ‘Seven Things.’ Just like Miley’s song “Seven Things.” No, I’m not ashamed of my love for her. In fact, I’m going to break out into song right now…. Well that was quite ill-received by the roommates. Bitches.”
4. “How weirded out on a scale of 1-10 would NPH’s parents be if I just moved in? God, I love that house (slash blueberry muffins, slash pasta salad, slash the best dog in the world KILO!!)”
3. “When I go home this weekend, do you think I’ll get taken to Costco? Will my mother just have Mom vibes and realize I’m almost out of Morningstar Farms Chipotle Black Bean Burgers? Droooool.”
2. “Get a job, get a job, interview, apply for jobs, no one will hire you, drown in beer and chocolate, get a job, get a job, where should I apply, Boston, Denver, not Texas, maybe Texas, no definitely Chicago, the zoo would hire me, NEED JOB NOW, noooo it’s far too early to apply for jobs, calm yourself.”
1. “I wish a new episode of Jersey Shore was on every day.”

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
…I think the point of this is probably to not say who you’re telling these ten things to. That’s overly dramatic, in my opinion, like I’m a black hole of emotions or am trapped in sophomore year of high school.

10. to Mike “The Situation” and Pauly D: You are absolutely the best part of the show, and the only reason I still watch. While you have the busted face of a 45-year-old trucker, Situation, we could all use a healthy dose of your confidence. And Pauly, whenever your “song” Beat da Beat comes on my Sirius, I try– I really do try– to listen. So far I’ve gotten to about the second chorus before I fear my ears will start bleeding onto the steering wheel, so it’s progress, my friend.
9. to Roomie Lauren: This whole time Roomie Rachael and I have been trying to blame the clogged shower drain on your insane mane of hair, but we had a conference in class this morning and realized that in fact we shed just as much. So I apologize. And also, stop tanning– your death from melanoma will probably leave 1/3 of the rent unpaid and well, my internships just don’t pay that much.
8. to our neighbor: Stop smoking weed. We can all occasionally appreciate some recreational use of the ganj, but your lungs have to be black (green?). See above, I apparently have turned into a giant anti-cancer advocate in this post.
7. to Neil: If your Mom brings me pumpkin bread, please don’t back out on that time when you said I can have the top piece. And yes, the whole top slice. Just take the knife, turn the loaf the wrong way, and slice me off the sugary, still kinda melty part. Feel free to give the nasty part kinda stuck to the pan to Pierce, he’ll eat anything.
Intermission– my LORD this is boring to write. I feel it would be un-upstanding of me to quit the 10 Day thing on like, Day One-Third, so bear with me.
6. to my grandmothers: I hope you’re both feeling better. If I weren’t such a shitty granddaughter, I would pick up the phone or send a letter or really reach out in any other way than a half-assed blog post. And I’m sorry I said “ass.”
5. to Roomie Rachael: I am so, so sorry I just made that face at you.
4. to Brother: What do I get for keeping this new secret for you? We can discuss later, I’m thinking straight cash.
3. to the man who called me beautiful while walking to class: Creepy. But thank you. But seriously, who does that? If you’re over 40 and in the construction industry, that will just never, ever come off as anything but borderline illegal.
2. to Curtis: You leaving your dirty socks here was not seen as a gift by me and my roommates, contrary to your apparent belief. You’re welcome for carrying your cowboy boots around town, the use of my boyfriend as your personal donkey, and the black bean burger you found in my freezer and drunkenly ate upon your return from the bar. …but seriously, I still owe you like a million from my times of just barging in and demanding lodging in Ames, so come on back any time.
1. To Mama and Papa: I’m bringing laundry home tomorrow.

I’ve alluded to this sad, sad addiction previously, but I feel now is the time to do some full disclosure on the blog: I watch Jersey Shore. I love it. I look forward to Thursdays (and not just because it’s the start of my weekend.) This was never supposed to happen. During the first season, I only had peripheral knowledge of this cast of ridiculous guidos and had never seen an episode. Then, right before the second season premiere, there was a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV and a hangover with no cure except mind-numbing pseudo-realistic TV. I blame NPH– he seemed to have an encyclopedic knowledge of Snooki and Pauly D’s shenanigans, was able to catch me up to speed on all the Sammi/Ronnie drama. Suddenly I was doing the Pauly D Point whenever that damn new Enrique Iglesias song came on (for those of you who don’t know, the video for said extremely catchy ditty is just the cast of the show dancing at an Enrique concert. Pauly D’s only dance move seems to be pointing at the crowd in tandem with the beat, my hypothesis being the more girls he points at, the more likely they will be to “smoosh” with him after the show.) I have conversations about these people with friends, and predict that Snooki Snickers will be this year’s Lady Gaga or Kate Gosselin of Halloween costumes. Do I have my favorites on the show? You bet I do. J-Woww serves no purpose for me, and I’ve come this close to shutting off an episode of Sammi’s ridiculous childlike attitude when it comes to the ol’ Ron-Ron. Snooki’s where it’s at, and not just because she and I are kindred spirits when it comes to all things pickles. The Situation used to annoy the shit outta me, but basically I would choose any guy in the house to hang out with over Ronnie. (Is she still blogging about the Jersey Shore? Well you’re still reading it.) If I could recommend the Rolling Stone issue with Leo DiCaprio on the cover, there’s an article about the show that’s well-written, funny, and gives surprising facts about the cast members pre-MTV fame. My roommate Lauren actually just expressed outloud, “I love these people so much.” (Yes, we’re watching reruns before the new episode tonight.) And I do, too. I don’t know why. I feel like an idiot, but the show (as Marc Jacobs, yes THAT Marc Jacobs said in a recent issue of InStyle) is a good brain vacation. One day they’ll all end up on Where Are They Now or surrounded by their bevies of Italian grandchildren (“THEY’RE NOT ITALIAN.” Yes, citizens of New Jersey, I’ve heard you. Humor us, please.) But until then, long live the Jersey Shore. God bless this Guido Juiceheads, protect them from the diseases that must be floating around in the Smoosh Room, and please, please give Sammi a backbone because this fake Ronnie drama has GOT to stop.

Apparently I’ve forgotten what it is to be a student. I may have texted multiple people today that I was dropping out (it has yet to be seen if that was a joke.) I had a job interview this afternoon so wore a dress all day, leading passersby to believe I was dress-wearing excited for the first day of class which couldn’t have been farther from the truth. The amount of reading I have to do before my European Integration class tomorrow is insane and should be illegal, this is syllabus week people! On a brighter note, my roommates are awesome, and I’m not just saying that because they assigned each of us nicknames and I am now only referred to as “Bitch Duck.” Dearest friend and future Boston roommate (yes, we decided this last night– if you know of PR places in Boston looking for two shockingly good-looking employees in about nine months, keep us in mind) Natalie has been reintroduced to my life. And yes, I only added that because she asked for a blog shout-out. Not only have I made homemade sweet potato fries tonight, I actually said the sentence “I wish Jersey Shore was on every day” out loud and don’t really feel that bad about it. The DI had an article today on how freshmen have taken to literally roaming the town in search of house parties now that they’re banned from the bars. My business acumen tells me there’s a mighty big money-making market for those of us of legal keg-buying age, we’re all pretty excited about it.

Today I learned an important lesson: do not buy the cheapest thing on Amazon. It will come with poorly translated directions and generally frustrate the hell out of your already exhausted self who only needs this music player to get her through her very early run tomorrow morning. Yes, I’m officially on a training plan for the half marathon and it feels AMAZING and I have renewed faith in both the heavens and my shoddy left knee. While I’ve been suffering through with just my thoughts (RIP iPod, you went above and beyond the many years I asked of you) now that I’m going 5+ miles, some heavy dance beats do wonders for my morale. In Iowa City this weekend I did my first “long” run with the help of NPH’s iPod (which he gave me, then TOOK BACK when his newer one broke. Goddamn Indian Giver. Is that a racist term? If it is, I apologize. That’s just literally the only term I know for someone who gives you something then takes it back. Other than Giant Butthead.) I move into my apartment THIS WEEKEND and am beyond excited to have my name on an apartment in IC again after eight months of separation and/or couch-surfing at 713. I’m also looking forward to resuming a somewhat normal blogging schedule since perhaps life around my peers will inspire me more than life working for the man (albeit a very fun, exciting “Man” who has been an amazing experience) does. Back to individually converting MP4 files to MP3 to go on this new piece of shit contraption even though I’m sure there’s ten other easier ways to do this AND I should be in bed if not staying up to watch the season two premiere of Jersey Shore. How I got into this show (just recently! Over the weekend!) is a tale for another post. Or maybe never because I’m very, very ashamed I know what “GTL” stands for.