It’s no secret how excited I am for Christmas, so I figured I’d get some of it off my brain and onto the ol’ bloggity blog JUST in case any readers were looking for ideas. Giant cough toward the boyfriend/ anyone of blood relation. So, drumroll please– I present to you now:

Brittney’s Ideal Christmas Wish List 2010

1. Gallons– nay, vats– of V8 Soups. I don’t have a favorite flavor (ok, I could live without the Southwestern Corn), just buy out your grocer’s entire stock of V8 Soups. If you haven’t had these, I urge you to mow over small children and animals to get to your hands on a magical green carton– I promise you’ll be hooked.

2. Remote start for my car. Because it’s getting cold out and I’m a wimp.

3. A plane ticket to Germany (Munich, please!) With D-Bag. For Oktoberfest of next year. Really not that much to ask, right?

4. A semi-truck load of Morningstar Farms Chipotle Black Bean Burgers. You can buy them in 18 packs at Costco, they are my FAVORITE. Seriously, I get really excited for lunch now. Being a vegetarian tastes so much better than my previously meaty life.

5. Hawkeye gear for Fergus. No, I will not take gifts for him as a replacement for ones for myself, but he’s got a self-proclaimed godmother who’s going to spoil him (and perhaps dress him up for a Christmas card-style photo shoot). Natalie, he needs Hawkeye gear for the games– the black will go well with his red coloring.

6. A job starting in about June in Boston/DC/a major metropolitan area on the east coast in either event planning/ public relations/ writing/ being fabulous.

7. Java House gift cards even though I realize those damn chai tea lattes are just all sugar. Ooh, while we’re at it, throw in some gift cards to Which Wich, Target, Bruegger’s, HyVee, Kum n Go, and some extra ones to Target. Pretty sure I could just live there.

8. Do they sell boxed seasons of Say Yes to the Dress? Because um, YES PLEASE.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
….HA! I’m really trying hard to not make all eight of these food items. If you’d like that list, though, I already have it printed out and kept in triplicate in both my Iowa City home, vehicle, and hometown. Because let’s be honest, number 8 is going to be:
8. FOOD. Buy it for me. Make it for me. Really anything except greasily-meated pizza which I still have some sort of aversion against. Gift cards to food places, take me to a restaurant, give me your leftover pizza crusts– the number one (or is this case, number eight) way to my heart is through FOOD.
7. I suppose I should say humor. There’s really no one in my life who isn’t at least slightly amusing, so I figure this just goes without saying. And yes, to those of you who are still under the impression that NPH doesn’t talk– he makes me laugh more than anyone!!
6. Skilled in our non-public times together. Yeahhhh girl, you got it. Contrary to the beliefs most of my family still holds, I have been alone with a male behind closed doors. Purely to work on homework, of course. I realize this one isn’t exactly a way to win one’s heart since one should go before the other, but just in case you were to entrap me in some sort of Ponzi scheme in your bedroom, this would be the best way to spin it.
Author’s note: this one is really hard and even more dumb than the rest on the list. Seriously, I covered it with my first one.
5. Doesn’t think Germany automatically equals Hitler. I suppose this one equals out to “don’t be a dumbass,” but since returning from abroad, this is actually an unfortunately common misconception among my peers. So if you wanna get in these sugar walls, don’t be ignorant. This also applies to all matters of equality rights (goddamn college liberals.)
4. Be employed. Having dated an unemployed schmuck (love you, P. Wood!) I now know having a steady income or two is crucial to wining and dining me. Simply because otherwise I’m the one who ends up footing the bill for aforementioned wining and dining, and well, see number 8– my dining ain’t cheap.
3. …Get along with my family? I’m really just pulling at strings at this point. My family– and I mean as the collective whole, not necessarily the three crazies (love you, immediate family!) I spend the majority of my time with– are quite ahhhh, ummmmm, a piece of work. You’re reading it, and you know you are. There aren’t enough hours in my month to explain the background on these groups, but I suppose the “key to my heart” as per this post, is to just smile and nod in all situations. To be fair, both sides can cook like nobody’s business, and you at least won’t be sober during any interaction with either.
2. Food. Yes, it deserves at least two of these eight.
1. Tell me how awesome I am. Good Lord, she has a blog dedicated to her own thoughts and triumphs– clearly she’d like to be told at least four times a day (in person, by text, and even e-mail are all perfectly acceptable mediums) what an amazing human anomaly she is. …am I right? Yeah, yeah I’m right. Later in therapy it will all come out as to why I think the universe revolves around me, but until then– just feed into it. Feeeeeeed me.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself
…this whole blog is about myself, so I’ll try and get creative with things you haven’t heard. They won’t be “I’m watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall right now” (which I am) or “I skipped class today” (which I did.) Hey, I turned in my assignment first.

9. My favorite beer changes often, but it’s currently Boulevard Wheat, extra points if served with a slice of lemon. Do NOT confuse this with Boulevard Pale Ale which is what I imagine fermented chalky piss to taste like if it were to be bottled and distributed at the local HyVee Wine and Spirits.
8. Lunch is my favorite meal of the day. It used to be breakfast, but somehow the noon-day eating has really taken hold of my heart. Perhaps because once you’ve eaten lunch, it’s more socially acceptable to just keep snacking into the next meal.
7. I don’t like s’mores. I don’t like the three things that make up s’mores (unless the milk chocolate is in the form of M&Ms and then well, all bets are off, buddy) though I have had s’more Pop-Tarts and can’t say I hated them. Anything with that much partially hydrogenated oil is guaranteed to be yummy, though.
6. I no longer have a key to 713. This hasn’t really affected me in the least, and I voluntarily surrendered it to one of our friends who is parking his car in their driveway for the year. (Are you paying them for that, Jordan?)
5. My current roommate situation is the first I’ve been really diggin’. I like the dynamic of living with two other people instead of just one. We’re only about a month in so this could change, I suppose, but Vegas is already booked bitches (166 days!)
4. Speaking of roommates, we’ve all been given nicknames. I was probably at 713 during this process, thus just came home one day to the name “Bitch Duck” in block letters taped to my door (I’m told it’s from an episode of Family Guy.) The others are named Ho-Train and Skankasaur– our first names are merely formalities. On the first day of class when my professor told us to shout out during roll call if we preferred to be called something else, every fiber in my body was screaming “Call me Bitch Duck!” But instead I just corrected her about the pronunciation of my last name.
3. I have really good pitch, singing-wise that is. Or so I’ve been told. And so I’d like to think when belting Katy Perry and speeding down I-80. But seriously, collegiate music majors have told me this. Homegirl can saaaaang.
2. Horrible acne. Even at age 21. What?! I figured one of these nine should be horribly TMI.
1. The song One Night in Bangkok makes me so, so happy. Like, deliriously so. What a silly, fun song. I realize this was a very anti-climactic #1, but it’s really the most on-my-mind thing as of late. Besides pretzel M&Ms, of course.

And now, for your Christmas entertainment, some photos from gift opening:

THE raincoat

Alright.  I had the package in hand, my grandmother prefaced the opening with “You’ll either love this or you’ll hate this.”  I guess when my first reaction after seeing it was, “What the fu–??!” it was a no go.  But at least it provided us quite a few laughs.  It’s the thought that counts, right?  And I have the gift receipt to pick out a raincoat I can wear overseas that wouldn’t look like a walking acid trip.

Christmas morning

Yep.  That’s my general expression even in the face of Santa.  But I LOVE that scarf.  Notice my new socks (thanks, T-Bone.)  That’s my uncle to the right, Big Ben on the left.  How FREAKIN excited are you that I have a camera now– you’re gonna be sucked into my day-to-day hehe.

Pensive

Scared! Lost! Help!

The cutest of all

Okay, sorry.  This was hopefully a one time thing.  Completely narcissistic, I realize.  100% self-serving.   IT’S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER.