(I realize that by labeling this “Part I,” I’m pseudo-promising at least one follow-up post. We’ll see what happens.)

I’ll start by thanking everyone who attended one of my three graduation festivities this weekend. I ate too much, drank too much, and got to spend quality time with people I probably won’t see for a while. I’m currently in Chicago to find a place to live before I start my job one week from tomorrow (cue heart attack-like breathing.) Today I only have three appointments, tomorrow I have five or six. The first one today was just a giant NO before I even saw the inside. As Natalie said, who thank goodness came with or I would have been bored and lost, “If it looks like this during the day, you probably don’t want to live here at night.”

The second place I looked, the place that is RIGHT DOWNTOWN in a great neighborhood, steps from bars, restaurants, shopping, civilization (and most importantly my office) was ok. Just ok. Not Holy-Whizbang-Sign-the-Lease-Right-Now as I was really hoping it would be. It has a lot of “Pros”– price, only on the second floor, fabulous location, almost everything included in the rent, but it’s a studio, and I’m just not sure how I feel about living in one room for at least a year. I’m also really looking into subleases because I don’t want to rush into finding a place and signing a longer term lease when I really have no idea where I want to live. Alas, I will trudge on through more appointments, more smelly hallways, more treacherous driving and parking situations. I really don’t want to be here all week. Don’t even get me started on the actual moving in part. Maybe my boss will just let me sleep in the office.

Last night, I had the privilege of attending a free advanced screening of the forthcoming movie Bridesmaids. It comes out in a month, but I’ve been quite excited for its release for many months because I am a HUGE fan of Kristen Wiig, the movie’s co-writer and star. You know how people get really fanatical about Tina Fey? I’m that way about Miz Wiig (though I get the whole Tina Fey awesomeness as well.) My affection for the movie’s star I don’t think really affected my overall opinion of the film because absolutely everyone else in the theater shared the same reaction: it was hilarious. Seriously. So funny. So much laughing out loud– Natalie was sitting next to me and was crying from laughter at one point. From start to finish, it is a smart comedy that will have people falling in love with Wiig as much as I already am. I feel I shouldn’t give too much away, but I’ll tell you of a few qualms I had about the movie before seeing it. I had watched the full theatrical trailer online before going and was slightly underwhelmed. After seeing it, I can tell you the funniest parts are definitely not in the trailer. The trailer shows them picking Vegas as the destination of Maya Rudolph’s bachelorette party, and I was leery that this was going to be a female version of The Hangover (don’t worry, it’s not.) Jon Hamm is in the movie (unbeknownst to me before going in) as well as an unknown Scotsman who’s kind of the Michael Cera version of Gerard Butler. There was lots of squealing and “Awwwww!!!”-ing at certain points because the audience was at least 95% female. Never fear, gentlemen– a guy and his girlfriend were walking in front of me as we left the theater, and he said something about, “So much for a chick flick!” and then shared his general excitement over the fact that it wasn’t just another sappy girl-centric movie he’d been conned into attending. The movie takes some turns that you might not expect, though does end like you’d probably expect, but it’s seriously a gem the entire way through. And make sure you don’t rush right of the theater at the end. Afterward I tweeted that it was definitely in the top five funniest movies I’ve ever seen. Or top three. Or maybe number one, just because I’m so happy that a movie written by and starring so many women is so damn good. Mark your calendars for May 13– you’re going to the movies.

There is a medium amount of blood on the sidewalk outside our apartment. There’s not a trail of it off into the bushes, so I can’t muster up much concern, but there are also broken bottles strewn everywhere. If there’s one thing Mamie from “The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia” (it’s on Netflix Instant and an absolute must watch) taught me, it’s that you should always drink beer from a bottle because it can instantly become a weapon in case of crisis or drunken brawl. Due to my passive nature and general happy state when under the influence, I’ve yet to put that little nugget of wisdom into practice.

I need to stop eating Jimmy John’s due to my current broke as a joke status, but that bitch Natalie (she’s currently on a cruise to Honduras, so the offensive adjective is completely justified) introduced me to the #5 and my life hasn’t really been the same since.

Even though it seems winter is just going to last until September, we pretended it was spring yesterday afternoon and had a good ol’ fashioned grill out. Some may also call it a garden party, but half of the attendees used cinderblocks as seats, so I’m not really sure it qualifies. We had mignon burgers because they’re on sale at Hy-Vee {insert here something about how I feel like a very boring housewife for even typing that} and now I’m not sure I’ll ever want regular ol’ ground beef ones again. Holy yum. T-Bone, put those on the menu for my graduation barbecue.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day finding ways to get back to Germany in the coming months. My wanderlust has been kicked into hyper-drive hearing all the super cool places my co-workers are going to this summer (Costa Rica! Greece!) And, after spending 50,000 hours road-tripping over spring break, a seven hour flight now seems like cake.

Very, very, very quick post.

I’m in the guest bedroom at Natalie’s house, about ready to pass out from exhaustion. This has been quite the long week, and my weekend is only going to get busier (but so, so much more fun.) In the morning we fly to Boston– send up a few quick ones that snow overnight won’t delay our flight out– and get approximately 48 hours in the most fabulous city (ok, 3rd most fabulous) in the world to eat, drink, play, network, schmooze, make friends, see the sights, and really anything but sleep. Did I mention our hotel has warm cookies for each guest upon arrival?

Fergus lost his manhood on Wednesday, but as the receptionist told me when I picked up this morning, “I don’t think he even realized he had surgery.” He’s already back to his rambunctious puppy self, and I will miss him terribly in my absence. I had my first midterm of the semester on Tuesday, pretty sure I rocked it, though I find myself caring less and less as we get closer to May whether I did or not. The fact that we’re leaving for Vegas for Spring Break two weeks from tomorrow is nuts. Complete and utter insanity. I will mostly likely be back here in the ‘burbs next weekend for a night while Neil gets his car in tip-top shape before the drive, so there really is no rest for the weary. Not that I’m complaining, things are quite awesome as of late.

(Oh, bootcamp still leaves me pretty sore– and ravenous– but getting up before the sun is getting easier, and I’m starting to notice larger muscles. Now if only the extra inches around my abs that have settled in post half marathon training would get the hell outta here.)

This morning was Day 2 of the four-week Beach Bodies Boot Camp Natalie and I are taking together. The first day was mostly spend on taking weights (sob) and measurements, but we finished with a workout called the Big Ten which was timed and will be timed again on the last day. Holy soreness. Everywhere. We did four circuits of lunges, push-ups, squats, and kettle bell movements sandwiched between five laps of running (not a full track, but this area they have for running which is so far the easiest part for me.) Yesterday I was the most sore I have ever been in my life. I’ve had what I considered to be good workouts before, but every muscle in my body was screaming whenever I moved yesterday. Getting in and out of a car was extremely difficult– I used the towel bar in the bathroom to pull myself up from the toilet. I am not at all exaggerating, and after speaking with the others in the class this morning, they were all in the same boat. I certainly wasn’t over my incredible soreness this morning, but I still got up at 6:15 (I went to bed at 6:45 pm yesterday. Seriously.) and we made our way to the gym where we had two new circuit workouts to power through. The class was split into two and we would do each for ten minutes and then switch. In total, we did about 40 minutes of lunges, squats with kettle bells, squats with medicine balls, arm workouts, ab workouts on stability balls, and cardio from running and jumping rope. Intense stuff. We were hurting afterward, to put it very mildly. On Friday apparently we’ll also get a talking to about nutrition, which I suppose I know but choose to ignore, and will probably also touch on not drinking ones weight in Miller Lite every weekend. Wish me luck.

For those of you expecting a recap of my best-ever Valentine’s Day, patience is a virtue. I need to collect my thoughts to write a TNGG article about it, then I’ll post pics and such.

BOSTON BOSTON BOSTON

I’m headed to Boston!!

Natalie and I will be headed to Bean Town at the end of the month for a PRSSA conference and there are no words for how over the moon excited I am. One weekend definitely won’t be enough time, but I. am. over. the. moon.

NEW ENGLAND, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iowa City is, for the most part, dug out after the worst blizzard of my almost 22 years. Our apartment parking lot was only plowed just yesterday (doomsday started on Tuesday, if you recall) which presented more than a few problems and shaken fists toward the sky. Fergus Jackson wasn’t sure if he loved or hated the snow, but tried to go outside as much as possible to get a definitive answer. He’s just heavy enough that he couldn’t quite walk on top without incident, so sunk down into the snow banks and tried to trudge or bound his way out. After a while he’d just get tired and cold and give up, laying down on top of the snow and willing me to pick him up like the diva baby he is and take him inside. (Did I mention he’s getting snipped soon? That’ll show him.) When I came to Iowa, I was told there was no such thing as snow days once you’re in college, but that has been debunked as I’ve had at least one every winter I’ve been here. I managed to get some work done, though not as much as yesterday when I was freakishly productive and showed my to-do list who’s boss.

The adrenaline from being a productive member of society must have poisoned my brain because I jumped on the Groupon bandwagon and signed up for a four week bootcamp at 7 a.m. three times a week from Valentine’s Day until Spring Break. Something I’m learning about myself is that, at least when it comes to working out, I need a goal (like a half marathon, which I still intend on running) or something more than, “Oh yeah, I’ll start working out for Spring Break.” I realize getting a super hot bod for Vegas is superficial, but this class will keep me active in the upcoming balls cold weeks since I’ve been struggling to go to the rec center. Plus, I paid for it and Natalie’s taking it with me, so it’s not like I’m not going to go. Check back for reports of sore I am and how hard it is and how much more in shape she is than me. It’ll be a hoot, just you wait.

(And yes, the title is from a Fergie song, who I cannot stand, but it reminds me of senior year of high school when that damn “Fergalicious” song was out and I could do the whole rap part that was actually her just talking really fast at the end. Yeah, I was just the coolest.)

If you’re checking in for an update on my bruised behind: it might possibly be worse. It’s also shaped kinda like Massachusetts, which is fitting since most days I’m fairly certain my ass is the size of Massachusetts.

This afternoon I volunteered at the local Hope Lodge with some other girls from PRSSA. We put up their holiday decorations, which included many wreaths and figurines and strands of lights. We also assembled two trees which we then adorned with some uh, interesting artistic themes could most politely be described as eclectic. There were two guests who also participated, one who loved to decorate at home and was more than willing to put in her two cents whenever it seemed we were at a loss for how best to hang ribbon on a tree. I’m really glad we went– they had a good time, and the place looks great.

Afterward, Roomie Lauren and I got take-out sushi from Oyama, a place I forget about but is probably my favorite sushi place in Iowa City. Leprechaun roll? TO DIE. Fergus, who has been feeling under the weather lately (probably because he is a little cuss and gets into very non-edible things) joined us later to have way too much fun playing with Lauren while I made gingersnaps. Aren’t we just the cutest little family. Neil told me what he’s getting me for Christmas today (IT’S SO AMAZING) and I told him Friday (because I can’t, can’t, can’t wait for anything to save my life) and because we both got each other not so much items as experiences. What he got me (where he’s taking me?) is way better than me to him, but that’s because Slash is involved. SEE, there I go again. Jumpin’ the gun on everything.

A big thank you goes up to Papa K for backing up all my files before I went to Germany. The other day Neil said something about murdering me to gain possession all of my things (he was kidding… I think) which reminded me I’d drawn up a will before going to Germany last year. Sure enough, I just found it buried in my very disorganized documents folder, so will now share it with you mostly in its entirety now (edited slightly for content and to protect those who probably don’t want their full names associated with me):

12/16/09—The Last Will and Testament of Brittney, one kick-ass cool kid
In the event of my untimely death, my belongings should be dispersed as follows:
1. My car goes to Melissa B. so she can drive her own ass to Ames
2. Admiral Jim Jack goes to Geoff W. And his electrical fans. And his silver trash can.
3. My PRSSA polo and Iowa Swimming & Diving t-shirt to Natalie
4. Neil gets my dead body so he can prop me up on the couch with a beer in my hand and talk to my cadaver—essentially nothing will have changed from our living friendship
5. My fake id goes to the highest bidder. It works everywhere but Brother’s and probably Fieldhouse
6. Everything else goes to Kayla.

Can we please not talk about how at the age of 20 I apparently still wanted to be remember as a “kick-ass cool kid”? I wonder where my parents ever got the idea that NPH and I only hang out to drink together. Clearly I was just far too immature, seven months out from the legal drinking age and all.

I have the tendency to find myself and my sarcasm far too amusing.

It’s no secret how excited I am for Christmas, so I figured I’d get some of it off my brain and onto the ol’ bloggity blog JUST in case any readers were looking for ideas. Giant cough toward the boyfriend/ anyone of blood relation. So, drumroll please– I present to you now:

Brittney’s Ideal Christmas Wish List 2010

1. Gallons– nay, vats– of V8 Soups. I don’t have a favorite flavor (ok, I could live without the Southwestern Corn), just buy out your grocer’s entire stock of V8 Soups. If you haven’t had these, I urge you to mow over small children and animals to get to your hands on a magical green carton– I promise you’ll be hooked.

2. Remote start for my car. Because it’s getting cold out and I’m a wimp.

3. A plane ticket to Germany (Munich, please!) With D-Bag. For Oktoberfest of next year. Really not that much to ask, right?

4. A semi-truck load of Morningstar Farms Chipotle Black Bean Burgers. You can buy them in 18 packs at Costco, they are my FAVORITE. Seriously, I get really excited for lunch now. Being a vegetarian tastes so much better than my previously meaty life.

5. Hawkeye gear for Fergus. No, I will not take gifts for him as a replacement for ones for myself, but he’s got a self-proclaimed godmother who’s going to spoil him (and perhaps dress him up for a Christmas card-style photo shoot). Natalie, he needs Hawkeye gear for the games– the black will go well with his red coloring.

6. A job starting in about June in Boston/DC/a major metropolitan area on the east coast in either event planning/ public relations/ writing/ being fabulous.

7. Java House gift cards even though I realize those damn chai tea lattes are just all sugar. Ooh, while we’re at it, throw in some gift cards to Which Wich, Target, Bruegger’s, HyVee, Kum n Go, and some extra ones to Target. Pretty sure I could just live there.

8. Do they sell boxed seasons of Say Yes to the Dress? Because um, YES PLEASE.