After a fever of 104, two hours at a walk-in clinic, and a chest x-ray at the hospital, Neil has been diagnosed with pneumonia. I am (perhaps foolishly) not too concerned about contracting a similar illness and have instead played the role of his and Fergus’ exclusive caretakers. When he gets better, I’ve already vowed to never take out the damn dog again. Don’t even get me started on the coughing– suffice it to say, my compassion has run out for this patient.
Well, my last semester of college starts tomorrow, and I am nothing but pumped. After a delicious reunion date with Natalie at the Vine yesterday, I am even more pumped about what comes after graduation because of my delirious optimism for all things job search related. Afterward, the roomies and I bunkered down on our respective couches with our respective Hy-Vee snacks (I just typed ’snakes’) and dissected every delicious minute of the Golden Globes. My fashion favorites included Claire Danes, Anne Hathaway, and Emma Stone, even though her skin looked straight up orange. You can Google them if you don’t know what they looked like, I’m far too lazy and concerned about copyright laws to slap up some pics for you. Ignoring Helen Bonham Carter’s desperate attempt at attention, I will say my worst dressed pick is Julianne Moore for that hideous one-sleeved Lanvin creation. And Natalie Portman for that FUCKING FLOWER on the front of her dress. WHAT THE FUCK. Yes, it deserves that many F-bombs. So hideous. Also, I’m tired of her. Your movie apparently wasn’t that great compared to The Social Network (still haven’t seen it), and by the way completely other tangent happening, why did Inception win nothing? I was so, so happy that Melissa Leo won for her role as the mother in The Fighter, and they could have just mailed Christian Bale is award months in advance because he had the Best Supporting Actor category in the bag three minutes into the movie.
I hate Glee, thus it winning Best TV Show or whatever it did was s-toooo-pid, but I was thrilled to see Chris Colfer and Jane Lynch win because well, they’re awesome. (By the way, did you notice how they panned to Lynch after Annette Bening won for playing a lesbian in The Kids Are Alright?) Speaking of, that movie was just alright– she was great, and don’t even get me started on the sexiness factor going through the roof with the casting of Mark Ruffalo, but alas, the movie was kinda flat.
And now I’m hungry, thus will leave to go make a sandwich with coleslaw on it. DON’T ASK– it’s my food phase of the moment. An odd one, yes, but also oddly delicious.

I’ve been hiding something from you. I’ve been trying to hide it from myself, but I need to come clean.

I’ve had two Taco Bell $5 Buck Boxes in less than 48 hours.

I know. It’s disgusting. But so, so good. I’ve eaten at Taco Bell maybe five times total in my life. It definitely wasn’t a place we went when I was a kid, and I generally try to avoid places where food comes at you through a window. I’ve been seeing the commercials for the five dollar box for a while and didn’t give it much thought, but one day I really paid attention and was like DAMN that’s a good deal. Five items for five dollars? Enough to fill you up for hours (though might perhaps make you regret your entire life later)? Sign me up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat this on just any regular day though, so it’s not always been sober consumption (that makes it all the more delicious.) God bless Neil’s still-fevered soul for being my enabler, for not breaking up with me after I waxed poetic on the sheer awesomeness of the Crunchwrap Supreme for a solid twenty minutes post-meal. Arteries, I’m sorry. Thighs, I’m even more sorry. I promise I’ll cool it on meals that come packed in laptop-sized boxes. For those of you who are now morbidly curious, go to Taco Bell and try it for yourself. Get the Beefy Crunch box, not that nasty Volcano one because it’s doesn’t come with aforementioned Taco Frisbee (crunchwrap supreme.) No need to thank me, your bloated, sour cream-filled tummy will be all the repayment I need. I’m gonna go lay in one position for a very long time.

Yesterday was my 200th post, whaddya know.

I am far more sore today than I was yesterday, holy butt muscles it hurts to move. My poor NPH has the flu– fever, body aches, sleeping all day. Thankfully a slightly pushy doctor back in November talked me into getting the flu shot so hopefully I won’t get this, but you never know. I am playing the part of diligent girlfriend and catering to his tomato soup and grilled cheese requests; I will demand monetary reward later. This evening a friend from work and I are going to show around some of the newly arrived foreign exchange students, I’m pretty excited about that since they seem to be as well. The girl coordinating all of it is from The Netherlands and keeps asking about “the pubs” which I think is delightfully European of her and might just start referring to them as such myself. I’m currently watching the Sex and the City movie for really no other reason than background noise while doing some work online, oh well that and Roomie Lauren hates when I go into her room, thus I try to do it at least thrice daily. This just reminds me that I need far more impossibly chic outfits for my random daytime errands. And that Kim Cattrall is just the worst actress.

Welp, I’m sick. I’ve been denying this fact since I started losing my voice in Milwaukee, but I can’t fight it any longer. Well, I can, and currently am with an arsenal of Mucinex, nasal spray & orange juice, but I’ve succumbed to staying in today and working from home. I could really get used to answering emails while watching Say Yes to the Dress (HOW many episodes has she seen? Is she addicted? Does TLC have any other shows?!) and munching on the cupcakes I made yesterday.

Why yes, those are homemade mint chocolate cupcakes. Dare I say they’re better than what we had in Milwaukee? Baking is so calming, though I’ll have to put any other culinary adventures off until I’m done being a succubus of viral plague. NPH is being his wonderful self and has already delivered orange juice and his mother’s lasagna; poor Fergus doesn’t understand that I can’t breathe and still chooses laying on my face as his preferred position on the couch. I foresee getting bored in my near future, so either expect multiple blog updates or my germs being unleashed on the world when I venture out to grocery shop before the “snowstorm” (2-3 inches?) descends.

Someone found my blog by Googling “how long til adam richman gets a heart attack.” While humorous, I hope the answer is a very long time from now, or that he steps away from the eating challenges before then because I think he’s kinda cute in that lovable oaf kinda way, and Lord knows I’ve always had a thing for dark hair.

After reviewing yesterday’s post, I realized I had COMPLETELY forgotten to share with you my FAVORITE part of the trip (thus all the capitalization): MY NEW HAT.

Such a gem. So warm and…. Miller Lite-y. I wore it during a 30-second Aldi trip yesterday, and you can best bet there were a few um, glances. NPH posed a great question yesterday when, 20 minutes outside of Iowa City and over four hours into what was starting to seem like the longest car trip of my life, he asked, “How are you going to survive when we drive for 12 hours at a time going to Vegas?” Egads. My answer is that of course I won’t actually survive and he’ll have to dump my lifeless body somewhere in Durango, Colorado for D-Bag to find, since visiting him is the only reason I’m subjecting myself to the confines of a vehicle instead of a cushy less-than-three-hour flight.
In all seriousness, I did enjoy the road-tripping part of our Milwaukee trip sometimes almost as much as the actual exploring the city part (a stretch of the truth, but follow me.) We weren’t really on a time crunch to get back, so getting lost in Madison twice wasn’t really a problem, and we were able to stop off in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin– the troll capital of the world. No seriously, that’s their town motto. Their website is Trollway.com (why the town isn’t just called Trollway, we may never know.) Obviously we had to stop, only to find out that this place thinks it’s somewhere in England because every intersection is a roundabout. They had a McDonalds so we stopped for a sweet treat (ice cream cone for her, Oreo McFlurry for him) and were baffled because I drove right past the window to pay because it was on some diagonal hidden corner of the building. The guy in the window had to shout out for me to reverse and make another attempt because OH WAIT I’m sorry, I’ve never been to a freaky diagonal Mickey D’s before. Silly trolls.
Road trips are also that magical place when you find out weird things about the person you’re traveling with, such as NPH’s complete– do I wanna say obsession here? Perhaps just love– love for Culver’s. Yeah, that Culver’s, the restaurant with the Butter Burgers. Is the part where I say ew? But sometimes we take one for the team to make our loved ones happy, so you better believe we stopped for lunch on the way back so someone could cure that Culver’s craving. In defense of his arteries, there’s no Culver’s in the Iowa City or Chicago areas, so the only time he can get it is perhaps twice a year when he ventures away from those places.

SO– to end what has become a sort of Saturday morning ramble sesh, I will answer the question probably burning in all your brains since bacon ended up in my Bloody Mary: I’ve abandoned the whole vegetarian thing. Why? Well, in a simple answer, I do like meat. Sometimes. Still not a lot, but I did find it much harder to be a veg in certain situations. I will still always pick a veggie burger over a real one because somehow Morningstar Farms has managed to find heaven and pack it into their chipotle black bean burgers. Also, not to completely rip off Marie, but I LIKE VEGETABLES!!! Also, the doctor says my iron and protein levels are low. I realize I can take supplements for that, but I could also just pick up some meat sometimes. Because there are two things I’m going to get in Vegas over Spring Break besides obliterated: In-n-Out Burger and a turkey reuben from Canter’s. And yes, I mostly posted this confession for my two vegetarian roommates who I’ve been pretty scared to come out of the meat-eating closet to because well, they can be vicious. You shoulda seen the way Rachael attacked the Wii when our marathon session of Say Yes to the Dress stopped streaming on Netflix. Ruthless, I tell you.

The boyfriend and I returned this afternoon from a mini vacation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where we toured the MillerCoors brewery as his Christmas present from me. (Yes, I realize the tour is free, but the idea and other shenanigans we got into were courtesy of moi.) It was so much fun, more than I guess I was anticipating. Being both huge Miller Lite fans, the tour itself was the highlight of the trip, culminating in three free samples at the Miller Inn (which I thought would be like sample-size shot glasses but were pretty regular-sized beer glasses.) As per a tip we got from another couple we were on the tour with, we went to dinner at the Comet Cafe, a place that has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. It certainly did not disappoint– in fact, it was fantastic. They’re big on bacon there, yet also have a ton of great vegan options (I had an almond-crusted tofu vegetable salad with ginger dressing– zooooommmg amazing.) I got a Bloody Mary, one of their specialties, which came with a giant garnish, a piece of bacon in it, and a Miller High Life chaser. Yes, my drink had a piece of bacon in it, it was awesome, and they put a splash of Guinness in there as well.

Oh yeah. It was amazing.

Sorry for the shoddy camera work, but yum

Holy shit.
Mind blown.
What just happened.
“I can’t even… like how did…” -actual person leaving the theater.

So we just returned from seeing Black Swan in Cedar Rapids (followed by the most DELICIOUS veggie enchiladas at Los Portales that have probly e’er been concocted, ever) and wow. First of all, if I was a betting woman, I’d put $1,000 on Natalie Portman winning this year’s Academy Award for best actress. Homegirl was phenomenal. I’m not really into ballet, but that certainly doesn’t matter when you’re watching this flick. Mila Kunis managed to not just make me think of Family Guy the entire time, and who knew Winona Ryder’s in it?! It wasn’t scary like “ahhh scary movie!” but it was definitely a thriller– SUPER intense. There were plenty of times I looked over at NPH like “Is this really happening?” The show started pretty promptly around 3:05 and we were out of there by 4:55, gotta love that. Also, I now wanna lose 100 pounds and become a ballerina AND I can’t get all the Swan Lake songs outta my head.

Hats off to you, Mr. Aronofsky.

For being officially on Christmas break, I sure have left myself a lot with much as-yet-unfinished business before leaving Iowa City tomorrow. While packing for home is the most daunting task on my to-do list, it’s surely the one that will be put off the longest. NPH, his roomies, and I are hoping to catch a showing of Black Swan in Cedar Rapids this afternoon (Fandango doesn’t show it playing in Iowa City?) I’d also like to see The Fighter sometime over break, but I feel that’s more of a kettle corn with the Pops event. Tomorrow I’m loading up the car with NPH and Fergus and heading to the booming metropolis of Fort Dodge, Iowa so that the grandparents and boyfriend can finally meet. Mostly I just want him to experience my grandmother’s house at Christmas because it’s off the CHAIN and not able to be adequately described with words. But seriously, trees in every room. And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Afterward, we’re headed to Adel so my mother can see Fergus again (ok, not the only reason, but definitely the one she’s most excited for. For not being exactly thrilled that we got him, T-Bone is in l-o-v-e with this dog.) Perhaps send some well wishes NPH’s way that he makes it out of this family-filled weekend alive and still sorta fond of me. Now if you’ll excuse me, Roomie Rachael made cookies last night, and I’m hoping to snag a few for breakfast. Break is quite necessary, if only for the free food.

OH AND PS– for some reason ICON is being terribly dumb and enlarged on my screen and not showing the toolbar to get to my grades. Any other Hawkeyes experiencing this? Because I’m gonna need to see how I did on my EU final like now.

If you’re checking in for an update on my bruised behind: it might possibly be worse. It’s also shaped kinda like Massachusetts, which is fitting since most days I’m fairly certain my ass is the size of Massachusetts.

This afternoon I volunteered at the local Hope Lodge with some other girls from PRSSA. We put up their holiday decorations, which included many wreaths and figurines and strands of lights. We also assembled two trees which we then adorned with some uh, interesting artistic themes could most politely be described as eclectic. There were two guests who also participated, one who loved to decorate at home and was more than willing to put in her two cents whenever it seemed we were at a loss for how best to hang ribbon on a tree. I’m really glad we went– they had a good time, and the place looks great.

Afterward, Roomie Lauren and I got take-out sushi from Oyama, a place I forget about but is probably my favorite sushi place in Iowa City. Leprechaun roll? TO DIE. Fergus, who has been feeling under the weather lately (probably because he is a little cuss and gets into very non-edible things) joined us later to have way too much fun playing with Lauren while I made gingersnaps. Aren’t we just the cutest little family. Neil told me what he’s getting me for Christmas today (IT’S SO AMAZING) and I told him Friday (because I can’t, can’t, can’t wait for anything to save my life) and because we both got each other not so much items as experiences. What he got me (where he’s taking me?) is way better than me to him, but that’s because Slash is involved. SEE, there I go again. Jumpin’ the gun on everything.

Sweet niblets, I just realized three of my recent posts have ended with an emoticon smiley.

There, I’ve got them all out of my system. Shudder. I am not an emoticon girl. Contrary to apparent recent evidence, I am not a fan of sideways symbols making faces. While we’re on the subject, I also cannot stand the acronym LOL. Greg Giraldo has a great bit about the overuse of LOL and other ridiculous text shorthand, but YouTube isn’t being kind and showing me the clip I want. Full disclosure: Neil uses LOL in his texts, and it very very VERY much irked me in the beginnings of our relationship. I admittedly use “haha” far more than any one person should in the course of their average texts per day, but “haha” is a much more socially acceptable phrase to show you’re either joking or think something is mildly amusing during the course of electronic conversation. When D-Bag and I used to have Skype chat conversations instead of just walking the 10 yards to the other’s apartment in Germany, he was pretty boss at using appropriate animation to make or support a point or story he was telling. That’s because one, Darin is the shit; and two, Skype has some pretty great animations. He was also a fan of the eye-rolling emoticon during Facebook chats (we had a weird and lovely co-dependency which apparently required us to be in communication at all times) which was just so great because that’s actually a face that he uses often in real life.

…it seems my apology for excessive smiley faces has just turned into a soliloquy on how much I miss my German bestie, as so many things lately often do.