To my family who’s been wondering: I have not yet signed any lease, and I haven’t moved to Chicago more than the boxes piled in the backseat and trunk of my car. I start my job in two days, so technically I’ve moved, but I’m still hanging out through the graciousness and hospitality of NPH’s family. When it does come time to settle for good (this weekend???) all my stuff is all packed and just waiting in IC for a moving van.

I was going to embed a video from last week’s episode of South Park, the best few minutes of television ever to air in the history of cable television, but Viacom pulled it from YouTube. Just know that Slash was on as some sort of mythical Santa Claus character, and I’ve never been more proud.

The thermometer outside one of the banks downtown read 64 today, yee-haw. It feels more like April than February, and I’m experiencing some major Germany flashbacks. I took full advantage of the above average temps and went for my first outside run of the year this morning. I did about 2.5 miles which actually really helped some of the lingering soreness from boot camp, though my lungs and legs seemed to be in a contest of which wanted to make me feel more out of shape during the whole thing. Fergus and I also went on a walk after class, though when his very low to the ground tummy meets this melty/muddy/puddle stuff, let’s just say either I’ll be investing in a lot more dog shampoo– not exactly likely since baths are not his favorite– or we might just have a dingy pup for the entire season.

The concert on Monday was, in a word, amazing. In two words, holy crap. We went to dinner at Bier Stube where they had an impressive imported beer selection and a semi-authentic menu that did not disappoint. (I mean, it was no Germany, but for Moline, Illinois it was pretty legit.) We got to the venue right as the doors were opening, and we wasted no time finding our seats which were really good. It’s not that big of a place (they play arena football there which as Neil informed me is the size of only half a football field) so it seems there aren’t many seats that could be deemed nosebleed. Both of us were quite surprised by the amount of preteen and grade school-aged children in attendance. Granted, many were with their parents, but they all had their own Ozzy shirts and appeared to be just as big of fans as the leather-clad, ruffian (thanks for the spelling lesson, Kayla) middle-aged chaperons. (I JUST LEARNED THAT ‘CHAPERON’ DOES NOT HAVE AN ‘E’ AT THE END. Holy schmoligans.)

Slash came out at 7:20, even though our tickets said the show didn’t start until 7:30, and played through lots of Guns ‘n Roses songs as well as some from his recent solo album, all with Myles Kennedy singing vocals. While he was no Axl, he’s not at all a bad singer and it was a really good performance. Of course I am in no way biased. Seeing Slash play Sweet Child o’ Mine and Paradise City in person (shirtless!!) made every single one of my adolescent dreams come true. It was so. awesome. Ozzy’s set started with a super funny parody video in which he was CGI-ed into pop culture stuff. For example, he was an Avatar, then he was Mike “The Situation” in a clip from Jersey Shore, then he appropriately became Iron Man from a clip from the second movie, and he was Beyonce in Gaga’s “Telephone” video which was absolutely my favorite. He finally came out, long black trench coat and hair a-waving, launching into most of his greatest hits, and generally still owning and rocking out on the stage despite being in his sixties. The entire concert was amazing, I had a huge smile on my face the entire time, the crowd loved, two thumbs up to all involved.

And with that, I’m off to make sure my car is super, sparkling clean since it’s my job to pick up our keynote speaker for PR Day (which is tomorrow!!!) from the airport.

This morning was Day 2 of the four-week Beach Bodies Boot Camp Natalie and I are taking together. The first day was mostly spend on taking weights (sob) and measurements, but we finished with a workout called the Big Ten which was timed and will be timed again on the last day. Holy soreness. Everywhere. We did four circuits of lunges, push-ups, squats, and kettle bell movements sandwiched between five laps of running (not a full track, but this area they have for running which is so far the easiest part for me.) Yesterday I was the most sore I have ever been in my life. I’ve had what I considered to be good workouts before, but every muscle in my body was screaming whenever I moved yesterday. Getting in and out of a car was extremely difficult– I used the towel bar in the bathroom to pull myself up from the toilet. I am not at all exaggerating, and after speaking with the others in the class this morning, they were all in the same boat. I certainly wasn’t over my incredible soreness this morning, but I still got up at 6:15 (I went to bed at 6:45 pm yesterday. Seriously.) and we made our way to the gym where we had two new circuit workouts to power through. The class was split into two and we would do each for ten minutes and then switch. In total, we did about 40 minutes of lunges, squats with kettle bells, squats with medicine balls, arm workouts, ab workouts on stability balls, and cardio from running and jumping rope. Intense stuff. We were hurting afterward, to put it very mildly. On Friday apparently we’ll also get a talking to about nutrition, which I suppose I know but choose to ignore, and will probably also touch on not drinking ones weight in Miller Lite every weekend. Wish me luck.

For those of you expecting a recap of my best-ever Valentine’s Day, patience is a virtue. I need to collect my thoughts to write a TNGG article about it, then I’ll post pics and such.

Good morning friends, family, Twitter creepers & those of you who only find this blog by searching “Avoid the Stork.” Recently I’ve gotten bangs (not really by choice, more by way of an overzealous stylist at Pro Cuts. Have you been? It costs about $12 to get your hair cut there. I am far too cheap to care enough about my hair to not get it cut for only twelve dollars), started being oddly productive on Fridays, gotten really into putting honey mustard dressing on my salads, adjusting to putting only one space after a period in sentences which is difficult and completely against everything I was ever taught for 13+ years of schooling, hitting the job search hard, and getting completely Becky Home Ec-y in the kitchen (was my mother the only one who ever used that phrase? It’s probably made up.) In addition to making homemade valentines this year, I’m also making some of the edible variety by way about one hundred sugar cookies– thanks for the cutters for Christmas, Grandma– with people’s names piped on the top. That is today’s project, I’ll be sure and report back on how it goes. I also plan on making these gems before the weekend is over, and in a perfect world I would also squeeze in a meal just devoted to these, but I’d like my pancreas to survive til Monday– Valentine’s Day, my favorite holiday. For those of you who live under a rock or need a refresher, I will be spending my V-Day evening in Moline, Illinois at perhaps the greatest show of my nearly 22 years. Making this event even more blessed is the meal I will be happily shoveling in my face beforehand. The Ozzy/Slash tickets were Neil’s Christmas gift to me, if you recall, thus my German beer hall visit is technically my Valentine’s Day present. Or so he says, but there also better be some flowers or trinkets bestowed to me throughout the day if he knows what’s good for him.

Slash was on Lopez Tonight last night.  Holy. Slashgasm.  He looked super sexy fine, as per usual, and it would have been even better if George Lopez hadn’t been there and they’d just let Slash play and be on camera.  He’s put together a big charity show for the Los Angeles Youth Network next Sunday, le sigh.  Such a humanitarian.

You know what’s fabulous?  Curly fries.

You’ll be pleased to know that I finally have a topic for my paper AND half a page written. …who am I kidding, that’s not noteworthy at all.  Tomorrow night, I’m just being realistic when I say I’ll be getting little to no sleep.  Or I could just bomb the midterm and study extra hard for the final?  Oh college, how you’ve prepared me to make completely realistic life decisions.

It’s going to rain today.  G’ood thing I found my umbrella after thinking my old roommate had taken it for a few months, but then cleaning out the front closet and discovering it buried under a bunch of blankets and boxes of Valentine’s Day boxes.  So I shall remain dry!  Brittney 1, Mother Nature 0.

Holy schmoligans Lil Wayne will be in anything.  Apparently he’s on the new Shakira song– I’m not a huge fan of hers, though Bestie l-o-v-e LOVES that damn “SheWolf” song so I’ve become partial to it as well.  If/ when he goes to prison I. will. just. die.  Luckily his DOCUMENTARY “The Carter” (it’s already won a bunch of Sundance awards, no big thing or anything) is coming out so I’ll be able to watch it every day until his release.  So today, I’m thankful for Lil Wayne (do not make fun of me.)  He is just so great.  And hilarious.  And is addicted to prescription cough syrup.  But just awesome.

My horoscope yesterday: You can talk your way into anyone’s heart — but where’s the beef?  OH OKAY.  I think that means unrequited love.  That’s pretty much what everything in my life means.

Molly is doing a crossword puzzle and just asked me what mountain Noah landed on.  I said “Sinai.”  Apparently that is the incorrect answer.  I was not aware there were multiple famous mountains in the Bible.  I’m going to have to go home and figure this out.  Now she just asked me who plays at City Field now.  Oh, I’m sorry @mkburke, I didn’t realize I was an encyclopedia.  Like when you asked me earlier how many students are enrolled in the business school.  We are children of the 21st century, Google it.

I should absolutely not be blogging right now.  I STILL have not nailed down a topic for my term paper due Thursday which I have to get done before then because the MIDTERM for that class is the same day.  Imagine Wednesday night for me just being spectacularly fun.  Perhaps if I start writing nonsense on the blogosphere, my creative juices for Legal Issues in Mass Communication will also start flowing. HA.

Last night Bestie and I discovered the movie The Ten with Paul Rudd in it.  That’s correct– Paul Rudd has starred in a film that we DID NOT KNOW even existed.  We were really upset with ourselves over this fact, but mostly just really excited because the movie is all sorts of fucked up AND he does a musical number at the end.  There is a poster of Paul Rudd in 713’s living room, a shrine, if you will.  When I asked Bestie to articulate exactly why they’re all so gung-ho over Mr. Rudd, he replied simply, “Because he is hot.”   I concur.  He reached his hotness peak in Wet Hot American Summer, but like a fine wine, he really only gets better with time.  I mostly like him because his awkwardness level in I Love You Man almost rivals mine in real life.

In other GIANT LIFE-ALTERING NEWS: Slash will be on the George Lopez show on TBS tonight!!!!!  Giggity goodness, people.  SLASH will be on the TELEVISION and I will be WATCHING HIM.  My suicide over this week’s workload so just got postponed until tomorrow.  Charlie Sheen will also be on, and anyone with half a brain or who has read the should-be-award-winning autobiography Slash (I have an autographed copy, because I know you were wondering) knows that those two are way good buds.  They go way back. Kind of like me and Slash… in my fantasy world where I spend most of my day. 

Perhaps I will go make myself a ham sandwich.  Or eat some soup out of a can.  Or run into oncoming traffic– really anything to keep me from this effin’ research paper.  If there’s one thing I hate in this world more than people who invite themselves to me (because really, isn’t that everyone’s number one pet peeve?) it’s RESEARCH.  People who do it for a living are in a whole other realm of crazy to me.  Who CARES?!  If the information is already written down, why do I have to find it and re-word it and stretch it out into a bunch of pages and spit it back to you?  I’m quite certain my professor is much more well-versed on Article 10 of the European Convention of Human Rights than I am, so perhaps he should be writing a paper for me on it.  I’d probably at least skim it.  (<– Ok, that was a dirty, dirty lie.  I would throw it away recycle it.)

Oh, and since we’re rockin’ a little over a week until Thanksgiving, today I am thankful for… the hospital workers who were putting up Christmas decorations today.  Because you know what that means: they’re going to replace the normal muzak in the halls to CHRISTMAS MUSIC pretty soon and then I will have total permission to walk with a spring in my step when pushing my God-forsaken cart of charts all over the blank-blankin’ hospital (did you know that beast is 1/4 of a mile from one end to the other?  And you wonder why I’ve suddenly developed the athletic prowess of an indigenous African…)

In closing, Roomie has concoted what smells like macaroni & cheese if Jesus himself were to make it.  I shall go investigate.

My arm still hurts from giving double platelets last week.  The perils of being a rockin’ citizen…

Sometimes when I’ve been drinking classy spirits, I get extremely defensive of Slash.  One person saw the wallpaper on my phone (it’s of a Slash poster in my room) and we got into a discussion about it that ended with him saying, “Why would I like a band my parents liked?” and me having to walk away in utter disgust.  Last night, while celebrating my friend’s birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jordan, Andy, Emily, Angela, Kieran, Jennifer… see, I told you there were lots) a new acquaintance was asking someone’s opinion on Chinese Democracy (Guns n Roses newest album that blew the big one, for those of you who are out of the loop.)  So I HAD to jump in and we HAD to have a battle of wits over GNR as a whole. 

This person was unimpressed that I had met Slash.  That my RIGHT HAND had been on or near SLASH’S RIGHT HAND.  His retort was actually, “I’ve shaken Spencer Pratt’s hand.”  Oy vey.  This kid was batting zero all over the place.  I won’t bore you with our geek-out trivia session we had about the greatest band of all time, but it at least ended civilly with a fist bump and a friending on Facebook.

Do you know what is the coolest thing that’s ever going to happen to me?  My main bitch Lauren (sorry, Grandma, but that’s what she is.  It’s a term of endearment) will be student teaching in Vegas after graduation.  Like it’s already in stone.  Like she’s going to LIVE in Vegas.  Like, I’ll have a place to stay and an excuse to go to Vegas.  So, so, so excited.  She’s a vegetarian, but I feel I’ll eat enough In-n-Out Burger for her and all the other non-meat eaters in the whole world.

I woke up rilllll excited to go on PRSSA company tour in Des Moines tonight/tomorrow.  Shout-out to Natalie, the best planner EVER (she in no way told me to do this.  Ok, maybe just a little.  But she’s a loyal fan )

High-fives are my preferred method of greeting.  I high-five people a lot– when I’m excited, when I see them on the street, when I say something awesome and they’re like “Wow, Brittney, I’m glad I know you and hang out with you because you’re so awesome.”  Yeah, I know.  I’ll grace you with a high-five.

Happy anniversary to Slash & Perla <– luckiest woman alive…

Let’s not talk about the kid and the balloon and his parents who clearly need a psychotic evaluation.  Let’s instead look at some other happenings around the country today and ask ourselves WHY little Falcon and his Wife Swapping famewhore mom and dad were the largest story of the day when an interracial couple was denied a marriage license in Louisiana (it is still 2009, right?  I didn’t get the whole regressing 50 years/ pre Civil Rights era memo…)

I am a journalism major.  I hate journalism.  I am realizing this a bit too late, however, and am close enough to just getting the degree that I’ll never change my major.  The past two years I have met some awesome super interesting people in the field who absolutely love what they do.  These people have more passion for the truth and reporting and sensational story-writing than I’ve probably ever had for anything yet in my 20 years.  That’s not me, though– I’m not naturally inquisitive, I find the media at times to be absolutely repulsive– I’m even becoming jaded on the PR aspect due to me realizing it’s all about money.  I KNOW– it’s America, capitalism, what else did I think it was about??  Maybe I’m just being a Debbie Downer, but I can’t imagine myself enjoying a life where I wake up to go to work every day to promote a company and/or product with the sole image of increasing sales/saving face.  Even non-profits, the field I’ve been leaning towards, are about donations, donations, donations.  I’m not good at asking for money– I think it’s tacky and I don’t handle rejection well.

As I’ve mentioned, my dream job is to bake for people.  Obviously the proper channels to actually pursuing this would be to take some business classes and get really good at baking.  It’ll happen one day,  but now is not the time.  I know I shouldn’t give up on the whole writing thing– as much as I hate journalism, I still hold out hope.  The smell of the New York Times  makes me really excited, and I am able to get satisfcation out of writing a kick-ass lede or getting a really great interview.  Maybe I hate it because college is the first place I wasn’t spoon-fed compliments just for making an effort.  I’ve pretty much accepted that either route I go, mega millionaire dollar signs are probably not in my future (which kinda blows since my only official life goal is to have enough money and no kids so I can fly to Vegas whenever I want…)

Also, how great is Taco Bell?!  The bestie and I went this evening– I’ve only been a handful of times in my life– and I am continually surprised by the dirt-cheap prices yet amazing food.  Blackjack taco box? I never knew that I needed two tacos, a burrito, and crispy CinnaSticks with a soda as big as my thigh all at one time!  (For the record, neither of us ordered this, but we saw it and were both in awe and excited for having found ground zero of America’s obesity epidemic…)

We also watched an episode of Gone Too Far, DJ AM’s documentary about helping addicts (which is ummm EXACTLY the same as Intervention only with a C-list celebrity instead of actual credibility.)  Does anyone else think that show has lost any sort of effectiveness it may have had on the addicts/audience due to the hypocrisy of the situation?!  Right before, MTV had just aired the documentary about Steve-O’s drug addicted past, so as one of my friends pointed out, the channel has basically become a giant how-to on getting high.