My arm feels like it’s about to fall off– thanks, flu shot! Today I’m thankful for this fabulous article from the New York Times, full of amazing vegetarian Thanksgiving recipes. I’ve got my eye on a couple of them, and don’t worry, Grandma– I can help in the kitchen and make a dish or two! It seems my vegetarian lifestyle would be greatly aided if I could stand even the thought of mushrooms, but since I like almost everything else that comes out of the ground, I’ll just have to suffer without the mushroom stuffings and portobello burgers of the world.

I’ve returned from Thanksgiving 1 of 3, a lovely weekend in Kansas City full of food, family, and that football game that I’m not going to talk about. I’m not sure what it is about Mondays, but they’ve become my most productive day of the week and when you’ll probably catch me in the best mood. Today not only did I feed someone’s parking meter that had expired, I took an impromptu trip to visit my former co-workers at the hospital. It was the first time I’d been back since leaving a month before studying in Germany– needless to say I was getting some very Twilight Zone-ish vibes considering I’d worked there nearly every day for two and a half years. It was surprisingly the same, though I’m not sure what I was expecting, which was both reassuring and kinda sad. Roomie Lauren and I just returned from dinner at Masala, a local vegetarian Indian restaurant. Yes, it was delicious and yes, I can see Indian being my new food kick for a couple weeks. On the docket for the rest of the night? Finding a job, naturally; perhaps I’ll bake 713 some autumnal treats, though that would require me leaving the couch. Today I’m thankful that my doctor talked me into getting the flu shot, and that my leg doesn’t actually need to be amputated, I just merely have a calcified hematoma (really, really bad bruise) from that terrible spill I took in DC a month ago. Seriously, it’s like I have a third knee. Lots of ice, ibuprofen, and massaging the calcium from my blood that’s collected on the area back into the ol’ veins is helping the pain, though. It’s pretty fantastic.

Roomie Rachael and I are headed to our dreaded Thursday morning class. An occasion that could be cause for celebration– all the snarky whispering we do during “work time” is cause for much intra-apartment bonding– is overshadowed by the fact that this class is downright sucky. Yes, I thought an adjective I used primarily in grade school was the perfect word for the impending two hours we’ll soon be dragging our feet toward. I’m out of Keurig pods (APOCALYPSE!!!) so will be stopping by the library for a cup o’ joe on the way. While I had tried going cold turkey on caffeine about a month ago, I then read conflicting evidence that caffeine can actually be good for you, so now I’m just all kinds of confused. I drink one cup of coffee a day now, if any, and it’s the HORRID diet sodas that I’ve given up– not because of the caffeine but because of the nasty, vile aspartame that was denied EIGHT TIMES by the FDA before being approved for consumption. Because this is my blog, I’m not going to attribute that to any source, you can just Google it yourself.

Today I’m thankful for our country’s service men and women– past, present, and future. I certainly don’t have the guts to do what they did, are doing, will do, so for that I commend them and say a very Happy Veterans’ Day.

And finally, if you’re looking for a much deeper, readable, kick-ass blog post than any you will find on this site, head on over to Meryn’s blog and get caught up on Stuff Black Ladies Like inspired by a brilliant hashtag on Twitter. Don’t get me started on Twitter trending topics, especially sponsored ones (or ones like, for example, #nicknamesinmyphone, which is currently trending. The only nickname I have in my phone is T-Bone for my mother. No one on Twitter would get that, and since all tweets are being documented by the Library of Congress, I feel I don’t need to waste their time with telling them so. I do, however, sometimes feel it necessary to tweet about what I’ve just eaten, any medical situations– real or imagined– I may be facing, and Fergus’ every move.) Uhhh, in conclusion, Meryn’s going places in life, whereas I just consider the fact that I had a bagel for breakfast a giant WIN.

…and of course I can’t blog today without mentioning what I’m thankful for (but seriously, every time I go to do it, the first thing that pops in my mind is a food item. Today it would have been the bomb-tastic muffins Roomie Lauren made over the weekend. I had one this morning, not really sure if I was supposed to, but I’m pretty glad I did. Way to go, Fiber One Apple Cinnamon mix.) Instead, today I am officially thankful for running. I suppose I could also say my legs. Or the random urge I got to run today. You get the idea. It’s been a while (ahemtwomonthswhaaaat?!) since I’ve gone on a run, and today’s was glorious and strong and reminded me that I can just go out and do it and not get all mentally tweaked on adding mileage every single day and calories in vs. calories out and 13.1! 13.1! 13.1! I’m sure I’ll register for another half marathon in the spring, though I’ll need to keep my head in check while training for it. With the semester I’m looking at, it’ll be a miracle if I’ll have time to breathe (exaggeration? You wish) but perhaps that’s just the sort of thing with which running can better help me deal.

Today’s friendly reminder: the Class of 2011 graduates six months from next week.

As we spend the evening watching election returns on CNN, I figured I’ll start my November blog tradition of saying something I’m thankful for every day. While I’m quite thankful for the cherry Twizzler Nibs NPH just gifted me with, I’m going to try to not just list a food item for the next 20-odd days. To kick off things, I’ll stay on topic with today’s political theme and say I’m thankful for our president. I could say I’m thankful for free speech and the right to vote, but snoozefest alert. I can honestly say I’m not on the same level of appreciation Ricky Stanzi has for America– I think there’s a helluva lot wrong with our political systems, and if given a job in (and plane ticket to, and a better handle on the native tongue of) Germany I’d abandon everything here before you could say “Forget getting my degree.” But today I’m very thankful for Barack Obama, Barry O, the man I’ll stand behind even my father claims we “kids just voted for him because we thought having a black president would be cool.” He is cool. (That’s not why I voted for him– his opponent was definitely farther up that list than the color of his skin.) He’s also not perfect, but neither would you be in that position. Some people only respect the position, but I certainly also respect the man. Yes we can, yes we did, these next two years will be quite interesting.

The neti pot is beginning to fail me, thus it’s time to pull out the big guns.  Mainly, 21st century medication in all forms– Mucinex, some kick-ass nasal spray stuff (this whole process has taught me I have zero problem with putting things in my nose) and some HyVee brand cold medication and cough drops that it took us way too long to decide on late Thursday night.  (After watching me go up and down the aisle multiple times, Neil: “You know, you don’t have to have ALL the symptoms listed on the box.”  and “Contrary to your apparent beliefs, Brittney, I haven’t actually taste-tested all of the throat losenges in the greater Iowa City/Coralville area.  Just. PICK ONE.” 

SO LAST NIGHT… PRSSA ugly sweater bar crawl.  I’d like to think it was a success, mostly because I planned it, but also because with the amount of bone-crushing hugs from everyone– the ones brought on by either severe inebriation or extreme adoration– it seems others enjoyed themselves as well.  Example: I was lifted in the air twice.  Previous to last night, I would have bet money on that being a feat most of my friends could not undertake.  Well, now that I think about it, neither of them are actually in PRSSA and in fact are two of my favorite people from the 713 pool.  But I digress.

I looked bomb diggity and so did Natalie (she and I thought that tights under shorts were a good option, she wore two pairs and I wore longjohns under mine) and really everyone else did as well.  NPH came to the pizza place where we started and got to meet everyone, his own personal legion of adoring fans.  He and Natalie got on famously, she specifically asked that I mention them in my blog and how much she ”LOVES NPH” and he is “SO AWESOME” and ”GOOD JOB PICKING YOUR BEST FRIEND.”  Uh, thank you.

Natalie, me, NPH

Anyway, luckily my apartment is in freak proximity to downtown so I was able to go home and put on jeans without missing much.  The tights plus the snow on the ground really weren’t a great combo.  From there the night was a blur of red and green sweater vests, super flattering pictures, my partner in crime Lauren joining us, Natalie befriending a bartender and essentially getting a gallon of vodka Sprite for $3, perhaps a Pancheros stop, and some flailing about that we tried to pass off as dancing to “Bad Romance” with a German.  THAT’S RIGHT, folks.  Apparently the towering presence of Aryan perfection on the crawl the entire night is actually straight off the boat German, methinks visiting or studying here for a bit.  I was not informed of this until five minutes before we called it a night, but I took solace in the fact that if his fellow countrymen even look half as good as that one, next semester will be a fun time indeed.

Speaking of studying abroad, I talked to a few PRSSAers who have done it (Italy & Spain) and realized I will probably be traveling a lot more in Europe than had originally planned.  I will definitely not have class five days a week, perhaps only two or three (it’s 17 credit hours though) and they both assured me that I’ll want to stick around after my program ends to do more.  One girl’s parents gave her three extra weeks to backpack, and she told me about the super cheap airline over there where you can hop on a plane and go to a new country for like 10 Euro.

And speaking of abroad, days like yesterday when Amanda Knox was found guilty in Italy are days I am extra thankful to live in America.  I don’t think she did it.  Perhaps that’s just the American media poisoning my mind, but she didn’t.

My uncle drove up to surprise his mama, which I thought was very nice.  I was the only one made privy to this information ahead of time– I’m actually very good at keeping secrets if I think they’re legitimate.  Myself, I don’t have that many secrets, I’m like a gd open book, but as my older brotherly figure in 713 once told me, “I feel you know all this stuff about everyone, but you don’t share it.”  Really it’s just because I’m a stalker.  And also fabulous at picking up little bits of info about people and then storing them in my brain and whipping them out at random times.  Also, my mind is like a steel trap with dates.  Like, creepily accurate.  The other day someone needed to know what day of the week November 12, 2007 was.  It was a Sunday.  We won’t get into how I knew that.

I’ve been telling you what I’m thankful for over the past two weeks, so I feel I don’t need to dedicate a whole Thanksgiving post to it.  If I were to make a post about the things I’m not thankful for, that would just be bitchy (and in no way out of character) and I’d probably jinx myself and then BAM!  She said she’s not thankful for her bad complexion and suddenly she has rosacea… so I just won’t go there.  Though I will say I am not thankful for my new ability to not sleep more than eight hours at night.  I’m sure this would come in handy if I were some sort of Eagle Scout and needed to develop an internal clock for a patch on my sash or whatever, but as a college student, I’d like to sleep past 8 am. 

This all started with the second to last home football game, when I got approximately 45 minutes of sleep one night then just went about my day tailgating, then working, then hanging out at 713 and finally going down at about 2 a.m.  I am no rocket scientist, but that’s not much sleep (stop yelling at the computer, Mom– I KNOW, I’m an idiot.)  My theory as to my superhuman ability to stay awake is in the form of a little yellow caffeine pill (available at Walgreens, people, PERFECTLY safe) from one of my friends.  He said it was equivalent to one cup of coffee.  Methinks it was equivalent to a few hits of meth.  Since then, my sleeping has just been a little off.  I’m sure the staying up, mind racing with anxiety each night over all the shit I have to do before Germany doesn’t help.  “MDMA got you feelin’ like a champion/ this city never sleeps/ better slip you an Ambien.”  Ahh yes, thanks Hova.  I knew you’d make it into my holiday post somewhere.

ANYWAY, the last of my thankful posts… Thanksgiving 2009, I am thankful for being single.  (No seriously, follow me on this one.)  We’re coming up on the anniversary of me getting dumped on my ass whilst speeding down I-80 back to school after Turkey Break last year.  At the time I was all Whatever, small bump in the road, I give it three months tops, and everyone who knew us was like Que horror! If this dynamic duo can’t make it then for the love of God WHOOOO CAN?!?!?  (Apparently I have some very melodramatic friends.)  But, we were all wrong and we split ways never to so much as pat each other on the back again.  And it has been one freakin’ fabulous year.  Sure, the first month or so wasn’t exactly rosy, I recall there being a lot of crying and de-friending then re-friending on Facebook.  (The lack of appetite though was ballin’– when you can only eat a few bites of oatmeal each day for a week, those jeans pushed to the back of your closet suddenly make your ass look bangin’.)  But once I got over that, I had some A+ friends waiting in the wings to take me out and introduce me to being single in college.  In the words of my man Borat “Eeets niiiice!”  (<–that sounded creepy.  I swear I did not take my newfound singledom as a ticket to sexual predator-dom.) 

It appears that I’m rambling (and I hear some elevated, aggravated voices from downstairs– it wouldn’t be a proper family gathering without) so I will cease.  I will also shower today, since it’s a holiday and I feel like being generous to those who have to spend the day around me.  And oh look, IT’S NOT EVEN 9:30 AM.  For the love of potato pancakes, I’m gonna need a nap.

Ahh, where to begin?!  Thanksgiving 3 of 3 has commenced at my mother’s mother’s house.  Grandma made a lasagna the size of Texas and now we’re all anticipating tomorrow when we eat a turkey about the size of a small elephant.  Go big or go home, I suppose.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked/assumed/insinuated that Bestie and I are dating/going to get married/doing the horizontal no-pants dance, I could pay off the rest of college and at least a semester of graduate school.  Apparently his friends from home are now in on the act, as well as my grandfather who calls him “Beastie.”  I suppose this new nickname could catch on if he didn’t sleep til Brooklyn (<–Beastie Boys reference.  Did you get it?  I should have made it easier and said “if he spends most of his time fighting for his right to party.”)  We have decided the way to best remedy for this is for me to punch him square in the face when he gets out of the car on Saturday.  Or let everyone privy to one of our riveting conversations where he sits on the couch watching Cops and I sit next to him fah-REAK-ing out about something and after a few minutes he’ll turn and say, “Oh, were you talking to me?”  Hmmm… in retrospect I have just presented you with even more evidence that we are, in fact, a couple.  Whatevs. 

Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving so I should probably stay up all night thinking of something REALLY good to be thankful for.  I suppose today I’m thankful that I’m right-handed.  Because statistically, if I were left-handed, I would die ten years earlier.

Sorry so short, but you know, family calls.  You should be with yours anyway, too– GET OFFLINE!

Dad just asked why exactly I’m going abroad again.  “You won’t be able to see this face for five months!”  Well, it’s more like four…  My impending exit is on many people’s brains lately– when I go back to Iowa City I will have THREE WEEKS to find a subleaser, pack my apartment, finish classes, take a final, and say peace out to those I love most.  So you know, piece o’ cake. 

Barring natural disaster or terrorist attack, Bestie will for sure be having the sheer privilege of visiting on Saturday.  He and Lauren are the two people I will miss most in Iowa City.  She will be in my wedding, one of those classy bitches I can see being in my twenties with, swirling martinis and complaining about the lack of men in our lives whilst lamenting the size of our upper arms. 

My mother has officially turned into her mother.  Christmas vomit has covered every inch of our house, including the bathroom off the kitchen where a patriotic Santa the size of a toddler is just hanging out next to the shower and it scares the BEJEEZUS out of me everytime I go to relieve myself.  Neither of the trees are up yet and I plan on not being in or near the house when it gets to be that time.  I’ve seriously contemplated converting to Judaism because I am so that person who has a tree up 365 because I’m too gd lazy to take the thing down.  I feel that eight pronged candelabra thingy would be much easier to stuff in a closet.

Two days til Thanksgiving which means today I’m thankful for heat.  This elusive element is something I’ve heard other houses have, but apparently we haven’t caught on yet around here.  Supposedly there’s one of those fabled “heaters” in the basement, but it must be broken or something.  I mean, why else would could we hang meat in the living room like it were an effin’ butcher shop?  I think I’ve experienced this feeling called “warm” sometime during the summer, but my brain is half-frozen so it’s hard to remember.  Perhaps Grandma’s house will be liveable without socks, longjohns, and a down parka.

Congratulations, you’ve been awarded a study abroad scholarship!  What a sweet way to start my day.  It’s not like I’m getting handed thousands of dollars to learn how to sprechen, but my program is throwing a couple Benjamins my way to lighten the load that feels pretty heavy given my penchant for going downtown every chance I get often.

T-Bone’s playing arts and crafts time in the kitchen currently, glueing some shit to a giant map of the world for some fundraiser for church.  If she’d like to move said map out of the way of the pantry, I could eat lunch, mmmkay?  Thanks.  Christmas carols are also wafting from the living room (Norman Rockwell ain’t got nothin’ on this family.) 

Later I will be baby-sitting my neighbor boys who I haven’t seen in eons.  They’ll probably be taller than me and think I’m the lamest person on earth, but whatever.  I changed them diapers once upon a time, ya hearrrd?  The worst part is, at least the older one has definitely learned how to tell time, so I can’t pull the old “OMG IT’S SO LATE, time for bed!” when the sun has barely set.  Yep, I was definitely that baby-sitter.  Should God have a lapse in judgment and have me bear kiddies, I will most certainly be that mother as well.

Ick, it’s basketball season.  I pure straight hate basketball. 

AND NOW KIDDOS, democracy in action.  Or at least an awesome example of where some very public bitching will get you: the hospital is canceling it’s dumb dumb dumb program to solicit donations from patients.  As avid, loyal readers of this, my dear blog baby, you are all well aware that I was not exactly a fan of the proposed plan.  I’m sure my well-thought, eloquent, and completely level-headed opinions against it were weighed heavily by the geniuses behind it.  HA.

It rained, meaning the outside of my car is clean, so I DETAILED the inside as well.  I hadn’t so much as vacuumed it since April.  There was still a bunch of grass and straw on the floor from when I mud-wrestled at VEISHEA (ohhhh boy, if I had only been blogging then!)  It also smells like cupcakes because I put in a brand spankin’ new air freshener.  So basically, I’ve been more productive today than I’ve been all week.  Go me!

I’m off to go make pie crust for the mother (she’s what one would call Pie Crus’tarded, and yes, that’s a real word.)  She’s going to make three pumpkin pies, for like, other people.  Pffffffffff.  What is this, the season of charity?!  Oh speaking of, I feel SO GUILTY when I go by those Salvation Army bell-ringers.  So I guess today I’m thankful for, you know, the stuff everyone’s usually thankful for.  Warm house/apartment, family, money, food, friends, real Charlie Brown-type stuff.  Oh, and the fact that KAYLA AND SAVANNAH are coming tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  See Mom, I do have female friends.