Sorry, Monday– I discounted you from the start this morning.  After a night of poor sleep thanks to weird dreams (starring Gisele, Tom Brady, and a former high school lust) I woke up demanding caffeine and cursing my scheduled eight hours of desk work.  Somewhere along the way, Monday quietly surprised me with an uncannily productive work ethic AND energy to go for a run a little after 5:00.  –Note to self, the sun is still far from setting at this time.  Humidity is still rocking well about 50%, recent thunderstorms make gravel more like sand to run on, and you will end up getting rocks into your shoe only a mile in.  While I commend you on lacing up them sneaks and getting out there, next time perhaps some pre-planning will go into it.  Baby steps.

A note on my job: IT IS AWESOME.  Some of the events involved in my internship are, wait for it… weddings. !!!!  I get to help plan weddings, attend weddings, research weddings, market our weddings, le sigh.  Before you get your panties in a wad, let me be perfectly clear that I under no circumstance, perfect proposal, threat, insanity, or death bed-side wish am anywhere near getting married AT ALL.  Gross.  Barf.  Throat tightening at the mere thought of lifetime commitment.  I’m still quite a young’in and I have quite a prepared speech about how STUPID it is to get married before you have established your own life.  But that’s for another time.  Luckily NPH realizes that my wedding-centered brain is part of my job, an outlet to entertain my inner girly-girl while my practical side knows that many years from now I’ll be celebrating my nuptials at the Hofbrauhaus in Vegas (honeymoon in Munich to follow.) Speaking of my fabulous place of employment, I have this Saturday off and GUESS who’s coming to town?  The nowhere-near-fiance-so-please-stop-asking-even-if-it-is-a-joke boyfriend.  While I’m sure we’d have an uproariously entertaining time just hanging out with the folks, we’re going someplace even better: ADVENTURELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Famous Dave’s at some point, but I’m not sure you can handle all of this exciting news in one post. The weekend after that is the Fourth of July (whaaaaat?!) and I hope upon hope my schedule will allow a trip to Chicago/ Milwaukee for Summerfest because apparently people wanna meet me.  NPH’s people.  I’m such a gem, I suppose I really can’t blame them.

Happy birthday, Ben!

I’m watching Say Yes to the Dress, a show on TLC about this wedding dress shop and their many whacked-out patrons.  When I was younger, I was ob-SESS-ed with what my wedding dress would one day look like.  Now?  Meh.  I know one thing: it will not be a strapless white gown.  So overdone.  And I don’t look good in strapless things.  Even though I’ll be getting married in Vegas, I’m sure a wedding dress of some sort will still be involved.  The ladies on this show bring an army of their friends and family to give their input on which one they pick.  Um, no.  I suppose T-Bone will get invited along, perhaps Neil for a manly perspective and Kayla because she’s never had a problem telling me when I look fug as a bug in a rug. 

Mondays are the creation of Satan. 

Tomorrow is my half birthday!  Six months til the big two-one.  Weird… 21 is like adult.  I am nowhere near being an “adult.” 

The season premiere of Intervention is on tonight (this post makes it sound like I watch a bunch of TV.  This is not the case, it just seems I don’t have much going on this evening and I am in a POOP mood.  Harumph.)  Do they ever show interventions where the people don’t agree to go?  And then die?  I’d like to see that episode.

My life is not that stressful, yet I’m finding as I get older I deal with even slightly stressful situations really ridiculously.  Perhaps I should get some strong anti-anxiety medication.  And then get hooked on it so I can be featured on Intervention.  How’s that for a life goal?

Pita chips for dinner= totally acceptable and completely awesome.

I am beyond exhausted– the wedding was beautiful, the raspberry/almond cake was outta this world, my waffle at Waffle House this morning was one of the best I’ve ever had.  I also had two scrambled eggs which were beyond yum– scrambled eggs are one of my top five favorite foods, did you know that?!?!

Also, I’ve officially decided that when that day comes for myself, I will be married in Vegas.  Not necessarily in some blacked out state at 3 am by an Elvis impersonator, but definitely in Vegas, definitely In-n-Out Burger as the reception food.  Feed each other french fries and a shake instead of cake, that kinda thing.

I just KNOW you’re wondering “But how was the rehearsal dinner barbecue, Brittney?!”  so I’ll TELL YOU.  Amazing.  Holy ribs and BBQ sauce.  My uncle can smoke some meeeeean ribs.  Also, Jack Stack’s  in KC makes some of the best baked beans I’ve ever had the privilege of inhaling– there’s pieces of brisket in the beans. 

The dryer was broken at home so the two baskets of dirty laundry I lugged home got lugged back untouched.  Thanks for the quarters though, Ma– now I just have to find the motivation to actually get ‘em in the washer. 

My friend finally got a headstone after only, oh.. eleven months– it’s really nice and its got a picture of him and says “Boner” on it and it made me very sad. 

Goodwill and Second Act were both closed by the time I got back, so I stopped at the specialty Halloween shop just to see what I could find.  SIXTY DOLLARS for a Halloween costume?!  No, thank you– I have booze groceries to buy.  Bestie and I are going to scrounge around for something to wear, anything… anything at all.  I brought home some dress-up clothes from home, but I’m not sure what we can make out of two pairs of suspenders, five pairs of ladies’ gloves and a can of temporary blonde hair color.

Oh, and in case you hadn’t heard… 8-0, FIRST TIME IN SCHOOL HISTORY.  Me being the Negative Nancy I am, thought we had zero chance at winning, and we barely did, but WAYTOGO Stanzi for those final two seconds.  I was getting minute-by-minute texts updating me on the score during the reception, and we’d all written us off until I got the “hawks win” text and I went be-serk.  The home game this weekend should be beyond insane.

I have now come to a crossroads in my life: 1.) take a nap, possibly (ohmygoodnes it’d be so amazing) just sleep til class tomorrow or 2.) do homework.  This homework will not be hard, I am in no way going to put in even what could remotely be mistaken for effort, yet it needs to get done.  I was following someone today with an license plate frame that said Alumni and I actually had a thought along the lines of “they did their time…” and then realized I was equating college to prison.  College is no way a prison– well, the classes are, they are absolutely mind-numbingly not awesome at all, so in some ways I absolutely do feel like I’m just biding my time til my four years are up.  The extracurriculars though (and not so much the leadership experience one puts on their resume) make me never, never wanna leave.

We have arrived in Kansas City for the weekend wedding festivities.  This town is ugly and drab.  It is also way more freezing, even though we traveled quite far south.

We had some shit-tastic Wendy’s for lunch.  I have not eaten actual fast food in a very long time, and today I was reminded of why.  If eating on the road, I will pick up a Nature Valley granola bar at a gas station, wait until I arrive at my destination, or hit up a deeelicious Subway, Jimmy John’s, etc.

I miss the bestie.  A nap is much needed, but not going to happen.  Did you know that in the book Where the Wild Things Are, horses were originally used instead of monsters?  Lame.  I don’t like horses.  Or really any animals.  Or children or elderly people or most of my peers.  I’m kind of an elitist bitch.